yo!!!watz up?

2005-11-10T02:33:00.000+08:00

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong
And carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven.
Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven?
I'll find my way
Through night and day,
'Cause I know
I just can't stay
Here in heaven.
Time can bring you down,
Time can bend your knees.
Time can break your heart,
Have you begging please,
begging please.
Beyond the door,
There's peace I'm sure,
And I know there'll be no more
Tears in heaven.
Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong
And carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven.

2005-11-09T20:42:00.000+08:00

life is no straight and easy corridor along
which we travel free and unhampered
but a maze of passages
thru which we seek oyur way
lost and confused
now and again
checked in a blind alley
but always,
if we have faith
god will open a door for us.
not perhaps one that we ourselves
would have ever thot of
but will ultimately prove good for us.

2005-11-07T11:46:00.000+08:00

I still see your face in my dreams
It hurts and it doesn't help at all
I still want you in my life as crazy as that seems
I want you to catch me when I fall
I still remember the first time we met
There was something so different about you
Your friendship was something I wanted to get
That smile when you said hi to me was so new
Out of no where you called me on the phone
I wanted to sit there and talk to you forever
You were so new, so crazy and unknown
I just knew that our friendship would never sever
What happened to the way this all used to beI
never wanted you out of my life ever
I sat there for a long time pretending not to see
I miss you and everything you were to me
Ten years from now we will look back on it all
We will be older and finally be able to see
That love will stand the test of time and never fall

2005-10-30T11:29:00.000+08:00

heys.. is diwali on tues n it doesn feel lyk it..yet. well..heard our class names mite be changed 2 flowers! eeks!.. i dun wanna be in a class called 4 daisy! its a ghastly nightmare! wad de tut laa.. i haven gotten over it since i read dory's sms last mornin.. lolx. plasticky flowery names! allamanda? bougenvilla? daisy??? oh no. pls let it be a rumour.
mm.. had lotsa fun paintin ytd.. hahaa. i painted my swing! damn fun! n its so well painted. thanks 2 me. lol..den rushed 4 sum dance practice.. n nope. its not ballet..DOREA! n i dun want 2 imagine myself in a tutu.. seriously. ack. i'm performin @ my centre's celebration as well as the national celebration la. crazy... n dey jus informed me i have 2 give some youth talk on the 26th of nov. hahaa. prolly on xmas. n dorea can help me in tt...i hope.

arh. gtg.
good luck 2 all those takin their O's.. all de best you guys.esp my dearest frens.. dorea.. n edna mode.. the 2 most relaxed ppl takin their )'s. one can still play poker carda. the other can still find tym 2 talk 2 me on de fone.. lol.

great frens are part of memories time can nv erase. when life is blessed with you guys, sweeter memories are there to look back to!.. =)

2005-10-28T17:40:00.000+08:00

heys..wheeee..its the last day of skul for the year... but somehow doesnt feel lyk it. i rmb one year ago on tis day..i was clearin de pe storeroom w chay..lolx. dat was lots of fun.. well..its been a yr now... n i have learnt dere r things one has 2 let go..2 gain new experiences.. n that includes frens. haiz.. glad i've gotten over my last yr's obsessin tho.-winks- hehe.ack. sumhow i'm not as attached 2 3e4 as i was 2 2e7 yet..shrugs. now...a year apart from the severners.. n yet we r all still such close frenz. its wonderful..relli. din expect us 2 keep in touch 2 this extent.. hahaa. n dat reminds me... 2e7 bonding! hahaa. i think dey r actually expectin me..jacq n de gang 2 organise it.. but i'm way 2 lazy. hahaa. n i think i'm expected 2 organise a 6B 'o2 outin as well... oops. anw.. yea. 2dae din relli seem lyk de last day cos most ppl got 3 wks of extended study.. dey are crazy la. puttin e math evry day?thank god i only have geog 2 go for.. mm.. had mrs loke's farewell party b4 operation cleanup.. it was quite simple. dere was tis 3/5 gurl hu was damn enthu bout it.. she was de only 1 clappin relli loudly n all.. so i assumed she muz relli luv mrs loke a lot.. well.. @ least until i heard her say.. "finally! she's leavin!my dream has come true!" ... hahahahaha.. i shud have known betta la! it sorta cracked me up.. qwell.. cali malued herself. hahaa. so farnieh but i shant say more. operation cleanup was the usual. atiqah, emil n nana played that "balik kampung" song on the comp.. n i got relli high.. dunno y. the malay song is damn cute la. even i noe how 2 sing it oredi.. coz i heard it play so many tyms in the bazaar. ooh... n dere were lyk 7 of us tryin 2 scrub my table. mu current table.audd's ex table. n she n sheena happily drew so much stuff tt wudn come out la. it was fun tho. den after skl.. had briefing in the hall..i guess wad tt mrs lim person said.. applied 2 me.. my targets totally distorted. its tym i piece d broken pieces back 2gether n work 4 it. my report bk reflected 22 pts 4 my L1R5.. but if i counted gujju.. it will be lyk 18.. so i guess tts not goog nor bad.. -shrugz- oohh.. but i lyk my remarkz la. ahem.
conduct : excellent
comments: Bindhya demonstrates good leadership through her iniative to lead the class in discussions. she shows care and concern to her classmatesand helps them in schoolwork. she has an enquiring mind and is constantly asking questions to clarify her doubts. she has demonstrated her determination to improve her results over the year. she also participitated in pesta sukan 2005.

personal qualities:
leadership:outstanding!
enquiring mind: outstanding!
resilience: outstanding!
care n concern for others: outstanding!

lolx...i think dey got the rong person laaa. i overlooked de outstandings part 1st thinkin prolly every1 got de same... but nawal made such a big deal out of it. hahaa. n i relised not many go tt..lolx.. n she kept makin sacarstic remarks. aiyo.. hahaa. i din noe i had such a good impression on my teachers. but seriously.. dun rmb doin any of those stuff mentioned dere. hahaa. we went out l8r on.. to drown our sorrows together. hahaa. so fun. n we ended up buyin sushi. lol.

k..gtg.

2005-10-27T19:16:00.000+08:00

heys..just came back from netball. it was de last day of the course thingy.. the test went quite okie i must say.. hahhaaa. i was awarded the *ahem*..best student coach..together with zid and emil.. muahaha. the coach said i had the best presentation yadi2.. but i lacked c o n f i d e n c e. sigh..i dread the word so much.. i have been told that by every teacher..or mentor. -shrugs-.. anw..think it will be quite nice 2 continue the course after my o's or a's... you get paid ard 40 bucks per lesson for trng a grp of pri school kids..for one and a half hours..lolx. think its quite a good deal aint it?..hahaa. money for no work. -grins- ...we spent our so called classroom lesson gosipping with the coach..well..i owais thot tt the netballers who play and represent singapore are paid to do so.. but it turns out that they arent! oh dear.. dey train so hard twice a day n all.. n dey r not even paid other den a measely trng allowance.thats sad.. netball has no future at all.. mebbe i should consider being lyk the coach.. she teaches 3 schools.. only courses lyk this student coach thing and all.. her work only requires 12 to 15 hours per week.. n she gets paid around 5 K.. hahaa. i think i'm suddenly attracted to jobs with easy money..tsk2. i'm such a lazy arse. well.. madhuri came back 2 tk 2dae..she wanted 2 see mrs chan.. but it turns out tt mrs chan was busy invigilating sth.. so she squandered all her tym away crapping with me..zid.. emil.. n renika b4 trng. hahaa. when i was in sec 1..she was in sec4.. so that makes her 3 years elder den me..hmmm. 2 years since she left tk.. but every tacher who passed by still remembers her.. n got so excited wen dey saw her... even mrs kong la. i wonder y...no doubt she was one of the famous pairs of twins in tk..madhu-meghna.. plus dey are lyk drama queens as well..lol. anw.. had a relli nice tym w her..she got a shock wen i told her pri was goin IP.. i relli dunno y.. hahaa.n she insisted tt the guys in the geylang bazaar were so cute n all.. yuuck. since wen did she start lykin mads?..she kept threatening 2 tell zid n emil stuff bout me tt dey din noe.. hmph. emotional blackmail. n in my opinion..dey din need 2 noe at all.. she kept hinting 2 tt navratri nite on sat.. sighh. hope she keeps her mouth sHuT. or..i'm as gd as dead. mm..she was excited bout the gujju netball practices commencin as well.. lolx. we are all the same. anti gujjus.. but luv each other's company all the same. heh. mm.. went 2 caltex w zid after trng to slack 4 a while.. i seriously miss all those mini dinners we used 2 have 2gether after trng.. not only me n zid... but i seem 2 miss those we had w the juniors a s well.. =D ..it was lyk durin n b4 de eoy period.. n we were all bein so crappy ventin our stress on one another.. oh wells. guess dere's still nx yr.. but it wun br the same again.. cuz pinks n renika will b leavin.. n dere r ppl joinin us as well. ahh..

oh yea! yao kun dreamt bout me last niite!!! hahahahaha... i wonder y.. mebbe she was thinkin of me b4 she slept or sth.. den she kept callin me her dreamgurl 2dae..lolx.

2005-10-26T15:12:00.000+08:00

hello.. i'm in my bored mood again! hahaa..i dun have 2 go 4 emath extended study.. n dere wun be extended study for a math.. so it doesn relli matter if i fail..yahoo! but i'm quite sure i'll be one of those privelleged ppl 2 be chosen 4 extended study for ss n history.. if the criteria is as wad mrs ang said..den i will definitely have 2 go..not sure bout my sciences yet.. coz de criteria is yet 2 be known.. lol.. anyway, had a relli gr8 time 2dae..i was playin de "jonny.. jonny.. jonny.. jonny.. whoosh jonny " thing with nawal.. haha.. so fun... dat gurl's damn damn damn blur la.. she still doesn get it.. n de wads next game 2! muahahaha.. i think i shall torture 4 one more day b4 revealing de trick.. she's so slow! n she has been crackin her head over it.. oh.. n her she introed me 2 one of these damn lame websites to play games.. n it was so funnieh..lame but we got addicted anyway.. www.ferryhalim.com

mm had the discussion bout school values thing in de morn.. i din understand a lot of de covo gg on cos it was mainly in chinese..well..i have nth 2 say. oh yea..mrs loke is leavin tk!wheeee.....n we're gettin a new principal!haha..i was rite bout dat third vice principal becumin our future principal! i'm so smart rite.. oh no. but i cant rmb our future principal's name..sheesh.. n she seems to be a lot lyk mrs loke. just without that gusto part.. anw.. mrs loke will be goin over 2 tjc!.. i so pity all de sec fours hu will be goin 2 tj next year..i do symphatise with dem.. but actually de first person dat struck me wen she said she'll be leaving for tj was priyanka! dat poor gurl la.. 2 years of mrs loke in tk.. den 4 years of mrs loke once again in her ip programme in tj! she muz be cursin n swearin her head off.... i think we'll be seein a sharp decline in the number of tkgians hu go 2 tjc after o levels soon.. n i wun be surprised! anw.. yea.. den played a bit of de jonny jonny thing w siying, brina, cali, jess, sheng jie, kendra, audd n wan yuan..haha... it was quite fun coz dey din get it.. n de whats next game as well..frankly speakin.. dey r all relli lame. dat bang bang game.. n de rest 2.. but we enjo playin it all de same. haha. den played tai dee with elaine..n dee.. n den l8r on w dee.. germaine n farzanah.. haha. so fun.. i won lots of games.. den we played president.. so cool. cos i was president both times.. muahaha.. it was supposed 2 be curriculum tym wasnt it..we were supposed 2 have lessons according 2 time table.. but in d end made me carry my books for absolutely no reason..coz we din have a single lesson!

hahaa..i realised i have lots of ppl 2 give xmas pressies 2 this year..oh dear. yet another reason 4 me 2 go broke... sheesh.. n its so easy 2 get me presents! just anything 2 do w "bees" n soft toys..i'll be sure 2 luv it. oh.. n i want de whole series of dan brown books as well.. hahaa. i'm such a nice person.. makin it so much easier for you guys 2 buy me presents. lalalala... oh yea. n jus bcos my bdae n xmas r 5 days apart.. it does not mean u can combine my presents k. ha! i want 2 seperate gifts! wheeee...kie.. buaiz.. i m goin 2 continue strummin my guitar.. haha.. i need 2 go get new chords..i'm bored of playin de same songs oredi..

2005-10-25T16:16:00.000+08:00

Wheee…it was raining so freaking heavily! De loud thunder n de flash of lightning.. made it look lyk dere was gonna be a flood or sth soon.. haha…so cool.. I was enjoyin myself lookin @ de rain pouring down from my window.. n my mum kept sayin that dere was gonna be a hurricane..n I was laughin my arse off.. hurricane..?in spore?..lolx..cool.. n my sister was cryin lyk nobody’s business cos my mum kept scarin her.. I relli relli luv de rain..n it has been qute sometime since it rained liddat.. actually I dun relli rmber it rainin lyk dat b4..i love de rain!..whoops..have I oredi mentioned dat? I can juz sit by the window in my room n see the rain pelt down for hours.. n dorea:I am NOT a depressed maniac! Hmph.. it just lightens me up.. n helps me sort out my thots.. I dunno y.. but yea.. plus de atmosphere’s relli cool 2.. n de winds chillin..ahh..so nice. I walked home in the rain ytd..it was relli fun..tho I was drenched to my bones by the time I got home.. n I got scolded by my mum.. coz I sneezed continuously 4 de rest of de day. lolx.. hahaa..i noe wad was de cause of ytd’s rain..definitely cali’s n kendra’s singin la! I told you guys it will rain after you sang! Ha!..i was rite.. those 2 sing Chinese songs throughout school..with sudden outbursts from wan yee 2..aiyoh! poor me n audd la..kena tortured by dem! Sigh… jk jk.. mmm..i’ve been hearin more Chinese songs den English songs for de past few days.. whereva I go..all I hear its mandarin songs..racism? erm..haha..jk. yea.. even mtv has begun playin lots n lots of Chinese songs..hahaa..even my couz have started singin Chinese songs! Oh dear. its a pity I dun understand much of it..my couz took Chinese as their mother tongue so I guess its different for dem..but I lyk de music..so soothing.. oh.. n isit jay chou that plays de 2 pianos or sth simultaeneously? Does he relli play dem? So cool!..

wahaa.. de financial talk thing for de past 2 days was quite okie I guess..de speaker was relli good I tink. She could relli connect.. erm so called connect. I dunno.. she carried herself v well..ms georgina chin.. she looks Eurasian.. her hubby must be chinese judging from de surname.. whoo… wonder how her kids look lyk .. mixed blood .. cool. Haha.. mixed blood guys r usually very hot aren’t dey?.. lolx. I noe de guys hu r mixed blood tt I noe of are.. yea..n I think her personal experiences of her sons made it more interesting.. jacq told me that the speaker who was assigned 2 her class juz walked in n de first thing he said was ..’’I dunno wad we are gonna do for the next two hours. I am a math teacher.” N den he juz starred blankly @ e class… lol..think he juz ended up reading de manual.. poor dem la. but I still haven’t figured out wad I am.. a spender? Builder? Or.. saver? Lolx..tink im a bit of each la. Whoa.. n cali wants 2 buy a condo by the time she turns 20? Oh..de legal age is 21 isn it? So she has 6 yrs 2 save up over a million.. impressive. Mm.. more den a condo..i think I wanna buy a convertible by the time I turn 19? Ahh.. that only leaves me w 4 years?..sheesh. I shud seriously stop spending money..

hahaa..i was lookin thru my eoy papers.. n my physics paper reminded me of sth that cracked me up..well..i’m sure even a non phy student will be able 2 tell u tt a vertical plane.. is NOT an aeroplane.. but cali.. actually drew an aeroplane in her phy paper..wen dey asked 2 draw a vertical plane! Damn funnieh la..n she drew it so well 2.. n after de paper.. she insisted vertical plane meant aeroplane..n I actually doubted myself for a moment.. we ended up askin a few sec four frens.. hu laughed their heads off b4 assuring us tt vertical plane was NOT an aeroplane! I liked arthi’s reaction d most..we din even need 2 tell her which one of us drew de aeroplane..she looked @ cali.. n went..”aeroplane your arse !” ..n she walks away laughin wif a fren.. haha. N yea..i was lookin @ de geog diagrams.. I still dun see how cali saw de spit as a beach! Dey r quite different aren’t dey? Every1 was fightin for the ans 2 be a bar or a tombolo n she was de only 1 hu insisted it looked lyk a beach.. wahaa.. it relli cracked me up.. de vice head prefect summore!!!

sheesh.. i relised how long it has been since i last went for a run or had trng.. i've bcome a tv hog lately! ooh.. i saw "a promise for tomorrow" ytd nite.. finally..hahaa.. n yea. i agree its nice. n i relli do think dat wei'an looks lyk kwann chaeron. haha..esp wen she's on de hospital bed.. n you cant see her ponytail..she does resemble kwann!!! anw.. back 2 runnin.. sigh.. wen dat ms georgina chin person.. talked bout running..i realised how distant dat word had bcum 2 me.. esp during the eoys.. lalala..i'm such a slacker. n mebbe i shud start followin de fitness plans zid did for our netball tests..sheesh..our netball tests is on thurs. ack...

wheeee....kie..i gotta go pick my couzie up from de airport.. she juz returned from america..! cant wait 2 see her..hahaa.. gotta go.

2005-10-24T14:24:00.000+08:00

heys.
i'm confused.
life totally sux.
i'm sorry for the decision i'm making.
but i relli dun have a choice.
its hurting me much more den its hurting tt person.
i realised its so much easier 2 give advice..
den 2 heed it.
i dunno if the thing i need at the moment is advice.
mebbe i've gotten 2 much of it.
i tried talkin it out with
nawal,kiran n halima 2dae.
thanx guys.
i knew i could count on you all
2 understand me.
i hate it wen depression seeps in.
i'm trying not 2 show it..
i'm trying 2 go ard school
with a huge fake smile.
but no1 noes
how much i'm bleeding inside.
i dun understand
y must life require me
2 take such a huge step.
i just wanna disappear suddenly
in2 thin air if i may
i wanna withdraw from this world.
i'm sorry.
again n again.
i keep wondering if its worth it
2 lose such a gr8 frenship.
its dead end for me both ways.
i'm giving up on
trying 2 make the "rite" decision.
its not gonna work.
either way..
i hurt a whole bunch of ppl.
third party.
that phrase keeps
ringin in my head.
24/7.
why cant ppl just see me happy?
it took me a lot of time
2 finally move on from the hurt
i experienced
just months ago.
n now wen i finally
understand the
true meaning of frenship,
god chooses 2 make me
go thru another test.
the only difference..
i dont think i can pass this one.
why cant i just be happy.
oh wells.
dats life aint it?
haish.
never did i imagine it
2 turn out this way.
but i guess i was askin for trouble.

anyways..
to dorea:
thanx so much gurl for being dere wen i needed it. i'm sorry i kept you awake till l8 on sat. but i relli relli relli appreciate ur help n just by being dere for me, i guess it made things easier. sometimes.. you dont have 2 do much but just by those smses.. it relli made a difference. love ya!

to pinks:
i dunno where we went rong. i just dun understand why the 3 of us cant be good frens together. its hard to make a choice between you guys. you noe how much dey mean 2 me as well. but i always thot our frenship was stronger den lettin others come in between and risk breaking it. anyway, u noe how much i tresure our frenship as well and i dun want 2 let go of it. the rest is up to you.remember our vision of you..me..reenal n nisha?..wad changed it? but anyway..i'm sorry.. i relli am n i mean it. pls dun be so cold 2wards me..i dunno if this is the cause.. but talk 2 me. n tell me wads rong.

n on a lighter note...its promotion day tml!!! yay.. its a holiday...! ;) n i'll be going out w nawal, halima n kiran..haha. bugis k!thx you guys for makin my day!seveners rock...

2005-10-22T23:57:00.000+08:00

happy birthday mum!
Whee..its my mum's bdae 2dae..a special thanx 2 all my frnes hu called or smsed my mom 2dae wishin her a happy bdae..thanx u all....i'm so touched..-pretends to wipe tears out of my eyes- haha..seriously..it was relli so thotful . yea..i planned a small surprise 4 her..was in cahoots w my aunt n couz..muahaha. so fun.. I got her a relli relli nice handbag..heh.it costs a bomb k! but I guess it was worth it... got her a cake too.. I actually wanted a chocolate one..but I figured it wud be quite selfish considerin my mum doesn lyk chocolate tt much so I ended up getting a cheese cum ice cream cake..heehee..i dunno wad it reeli was called but it tasted lyk cheese..n ice cream..n it had strawberries on top..n a bit of choco 2 please me.. hehe. It was an unique combo..but it was damn delicious.. hahaa. De cake disappeared it less den 10 mins..thanx 2 me n my couz..lolx. we had tt small surprise party @ m aunts place b4 goin 4 some function.. which was horrible.. I dunno if it was juz me..or mebbe it relli was horrible. My mood was damn off anyway..so it din relli matter..i jus sat dowm stoning away..4 most of i...sheesh.. but I did take lots of pics at the surprise party with my lovely slim cybershot 4.1 megapixel digital camera... muahahaha...nawal's jealous of it..but I dun blame her.. Its so freakin nice. kie..c ya..

2005-10-21T16:02:00.000+08:00

hurrow.

been so long since i updated huh. my blog's so dead. changed the blogskin ytd.. bet i'm gonna get sick of it relli soon n change it again. haha. since my blog existed..i shud have changed hundreds of blogskins!.. ok.. i'm exaggerating.. perhaps tens..? ack.. eoys. sigh!!! major major sigh! it wen as suckily as i expected.. my only consolation is gujerati..a1..-beams-.. n english.. an A2..well considerin that only jess got an a1 i think that wud be pretty good rite.. got a B4 for chem.. thanx 2 mr. edna mode? lolx.. anw.. thank you sooo much.. hahaa. i havent thanked him enuf yet..oh.. n thats not his real name.. hahaa.. how did he get that nick again?.... -stops 2 think- oh!!! i noe.. haha.. it was under the disguise of a gurl name.. lolx. .. yea back 2 eoys.. surprisingly managed 2 pass my worSt subjects.. i.e comb humans.. n physics. . but... i FREAKIN FAILED my a math..i was so pissed.. actually i had expected 2 fail lar.. i cried after the paper.. dun ask me y. but still its a bit hard 2 accept me failin my supposedly best subject!!! an a1 in term 3 n den suddenly.. a f9 in term 4.. wadda hell man! its not tt i slacked by one or 2 grades.. its a freakin 8 grades i feel by! haha.. anw... among de 6 of us.. [lizzie.. nawal... jacq..halima.. azzah..n me]..only nawal passed.. so i guess that was a consolation..ohh. but all of us got A in eng.. whoahaha. so happie. n plus i got an a in e math 2.. haha.. only 7 a's in 3e4..yay!.. i'm so kaypo. haha... thank god i'm not in 3e2.. all i eva see in their marklist is a1s.. those scholars..wonder how dey manage it.. so hardworkin.. think thosee ppl r relli my inspiration la.. i shud seriously stop slackin.. my l1r5 for term 4 is 20.. n i think overall for the 4 terms wud be ard 19.. wad shit. lalalalalalalala.. shant talk bout eoys anymore... so depressing! ;)

erm.. yea.. been goin out lots de past few days.. went 2 de jurong east ice skating rink on wed w nawal, jacq, lizzie n azzah.. rite after our geog paper.. lol. n sad 2 say.. de only ice skating rink in spore..seriously sux.. ended up watchin corpse bride l8r on..dat movie has good animations n stuff.. but i seriously think it has no story line.. but different ppl have different perceptions of it..eg: i n jacq were fallin asleep durin de movie.. no doubt dere were a bit interestin parts.. but in all..i dunno.. mebbe i was tired after all dat muggin.. but lizzie, azzah.. n nawal were TEARING durin de movie.. n both me n jacq kept wonderin y...lolx..

oh yea. n i bumped rite in2 a pole! it was so funnieh k.. i was just walkin..talkin 2 nawal.. n den *plonk* i realised i walked in2 a pole.. n both nawal n i started laughin lyk hyenas...apparently coz de exact same scenario happened 2 syaza wen she was with nawal.. n nawal had just narrated de whole incident 2 me a few days back.. sayin how blur she was..n it relli looked lyk a re-enactment.. hah.. nawal is seriously jinx la.. i think de next person hu is gonna walk in2 apole will be azzah..or lizzie.. haha..

have successfully chugged my books.. or more lyk arranged dem v neatly.. [out of my sight] ..in preparation for the serious muggin i plan 2 do durin de hols w nawal n jacq.. most prolly de rest will join us 2.. pehaps if we slog harder durin de hols.. de journey towards de O's next year will hopefully be a more smooth one.. de hard part is 2 get me 2 start studyin.. lolx.. i haf no determination 2 study @ all.. tsk2..

n 2 mrs yam: i'm sorry for those harsh smses kie..i realised it was a lil harsh.. but i relli hope 2 see you successfully getting ur 8 pts in ur O's k.. our smses can wait.. but time isn gonna wait for ur o's.. juz concentrate on ur studies now.. i noe you can do it. jia you.. u're capable of it..if you put in de effort! mebbe those 5 "pg-ed" smses were an inspiration..i dunno. i relli hope it was.. but wdv de case.. study hard k.

whoa.so long oredi.. gtg.. hopefully u'll see me update soon..

2005-10-20T15:59:00.000+08:00

To realize
The value of a soulmate
Ask someone
Who doesn't have one.

To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.

To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.

To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who
Has failed a final exam.

To realize
The value of nine months:
Ask a mother
who gave birth to a still born.

To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother
who has given birth to
A premature baby.

To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize
The value of one hour:
Ask the lovers who are waiting to Meet.

To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize
The value of one-second:
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident.

To realize
The value of one millisecond:
Ask the person who has won
a silver medal in the Olympics

Time waits for no one.
Treasure every moment you have.
You will treasure it even more when you can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend:Lose one.

2005-09-26T14:08:00.000+08:00

wheeeeeeeeeeeeee... juz a nice short n sweet post b4 i literrally commit suicide.. wow. 4 days b4 EOYs n dere r tons of things left 4 me to do..wonderful aint it. i swear i havent touched my history.. geog.. ss..[ooh.dat makes it all the humanities doesnt it?].. ack. i dun lyk humanities! *pouts* oohh... n dun 4get physics. -faints- ... i wish i was stayin in a high rised buildin.. i wud haf jumped down a long time back. now i so regret slackin for the past few weeks.. hah. i learnt my lesson.. next year i'll start studyin hard from the start. rite. lol... i think even if i rush thru the piles of work i have to do.. n revise.. i'll never be able to finish it.. i have a v v strong instinct that i aint gonna do well tis time round.. n i very well noe the consequences of that. i wun be able to enjoy my 2 months of sweet holiday @ all.. n dere goes my handphone as well. hahaz.. last year i was relli in2 writing letters.. this year its smsin.. wonder wad it'll be next year.. i'm in the library now.. quite a no of sec fours here. i see mrs yam's hubby.. but i dun tink she's here. -shrugs- .. ooh.. n that reminds me.. i dun see anything sweet in my blog.. n dere's no use editing stuff oredi.. cuz she beat me 2 it.. fantastically amusing and sweet? -scans ard n shakes head- .. lol. i shall be more careful about wad i post here now.. on second thot.. noo.. i think i'm gonna be my good ole self n write all the rubbish on my mind.. its MY space huh. hehez..

hmm.. just thinkin about all the racism conspiracy goin on in the newspapers n stuff.. a lot of ppl think dat racism doesnt exist in singapore.. i guess its true for the majority here which is the chinese.. i'm not saying that the chinese here are racist.. but lemme juz bring things to a smaller scale.. haha. take 3e4 for an example.. dere are a few ppl here n dere hum i cant quite stand coz dey talk in chi 24/7. wen dey brought the "clique" matter up in legacy that day..i was relli tempted to say sth.. but i decided against it coz it wudnt have made a difference..cliques r totally alrite.. as long as u dun leave anyone out.. haha. the reason y sum ppl dun belong in cliques.. the chinese ppl talk only in chi.. the malays talk in malay.. so where do ppl lyk me n fuzzy belong?.. tho i can speak n understand a lil of both chinese n malay.. its only to a certain extent.. i rmb last year.. durin d n t.. i was juz talkin 2 kiran n radzo in what i call.. a mix of gujerati, punjabi n hindi.. for a very short period of time.. n yet chay gor relli relli pissed @ us.. she practically just screamed. but den why does no one consider our feelings when you guys only talk ur own mt.. at least spare a thot 4 us.. dere's nth rong in speakin ur mt i guess.. esp coz u're more used to speakin it @ home n all.. but at least make the effort to switch to eng wen sum1 hu doesn understand the lang u'r speakin is ard.. coz it can get relli pissifyin from my point of view. small things lyk this actually lead to the whole racism issue.. its so small that u may not even realise it while u're doin it.. but it is a form of racism isnt it?.. *shrugs* i guess this stuff is juz from my point of view. its not gonna make a difference..n i shall juz continue to be totally silent if i feel left out n get pissed. lolx.. juz gettin it off my chest.. thats it.

haha.. the post isn that short anymore huh.. kk.. think i shall go continue muggin in solitude.. n i guess if u're havin ur EOYs in 4 days time.. den u shudn be readin tis as well.. shoo! go mug..! heck. friendster's screwed.

2005-09-20T08:24:00.000+08:00

heys..haha.. was lookin thru my blog n i realised it seems relli depressing. -shudders-.. lolx. whee..... shall juz upd8 a relli happy post that will prolly on my blog for quite some time.. coz i dun tink takin time 2 blog will be a v good idea wen d end of years is only TEN days away! -faints- ... well.. we'll see if i'll be able to resist the temptation ya.. hahaz. anyway someone sent me this msg ..remindin me bout sth i read in a book once.."destiny decides who you meet in life but its only your heart that can decide who gets to stay in your life".. some food for thought dere. hmmm.. juz nv thot of it that way... ooh. btw i'm done w all de surveys. fifteen surveys. dey relli haf to give it to us so close to d exams ya.. but heck. it was kinda d same ole questions..more or less. haha.. ooh.. we haf a new vice principal in tk. cool. now we haf THREE VPs.. ish dere a possibility that she'll take over mrs loke?.. i dunno.. but it will be interestin if she does. she looks nice... i hope she is tho. eeyer. i still havent successfully completed studyin any subjects. i m just in a mess.. studyin bits n pieces of evrything.. i dun even noe wad i'm studyin la. i'm a confused person. :)

n to my 2 v v best frens..: however close i've gotten to that person in the past four months..you guys are still my top priority kkz.. pls dun feel that i'm neglectin yu guys.. coz i'm tryin relli hard to balance evry1. its just that it isn that easy. i feel relli relli bad la... but you guys juz rawk my life.. n no1 will ever be able to take ur place.. rest asured!

2005-09-18T20:13:00.000+08:00

i've lost my trust in everyone around me. there's no one that i'm gonna trust whole heartedly anymore. whats the use? sooner or later, they are just gonna break that trust, hurt you and leave you broken. i've stopped believin in true frens.. the reason? very simple. coz they dun exist. i once thot they did, but i noe better now. every1 ard me is juz an acquaintance. yea.. i met ya. we shared some happy memories.. some sad ones.. n of cuz the meaningful ones.. but its comes to a point that is too good to be true. coz nth lasts 4eva. b4 i noe it, you'll just be walkin out of my life, just lyk everyone else b4 ya. n soon sum1 new will enter.. n the cycle juz repeats itself. so wads new? dats life. dats destiny. dats a fact.

2005-09-13T13:13:00.000+08:00

heyz... lol.i'm feeling so tired..so crappy. arh.. seventeen more days to EOYs.. n yet for some reason i dun feel the presure yet.. i mean.. i'm gettin relli scared basically coz i havent touched my books for so long that i can see cobwebs on them..haha. but the pressure still hasn relli motivated me 2 do anything much bout it..which is bad. very bad. very very bad. esp when ppl tell me that they have completed revising quite a few major subjects already.. and all i can do is look at dem and say.. wow. u noe sth..i havent studied properly since the CAs have been over.. and dey look at me and gasp as if i've commited a crime. i feel so guilty after that but it doesnt last long enuf 2 get me mugging seriously. i am so dead. i think its time someone glue me to my chair and make me concentr8 on mugging. oh. and i'm gonna ground myself from going out till the exams are over. -feels proud of self-.. but it doesn quite make a difference tho. coz i'm gonna be busy stayin back in school for sth or the other almost everyday for the next 2 weeks or so. gosh. Ack. Ooh. N I went out ytd w nawal n halima to get halima’s erm.. relli relli relli belated bdae present.. its belated for lyk seven months. I felt so guilty. Coz I was supposed to owe her one.. n den I conveniently forgot till ytd.. feel so bad.. and now… I'm officially super super super broke. I have nth left in my wallet.. and I’m beginning to owe ppl money. That’s how broke I am after buying presents for EiGhT ppl in a week. Oh.. and I still owe ddy for wanee's present. Gr8. simply wonderful! No wonder they say never buy belated bdae pressies at one shot.. hmm. Lol.. I gave yan yan her pressie ytd.. it was juz meant as sth to spur her on for her exams.. prelims. –shudders-.. yea. Anyways.. waited for her outside school.. n dere comes YOUR HIGHNESS.. strolling and talking 2 her frens.. den after I gave it to her.. she refused to put it in2 her bag.. I practically spent 5 mins tryin 2 make her put it in2 her bag coz a few other seniors of mine were with her.. oh n which was unsuccessful by the way. ack. i'm so scared of the other senior.. dunno y. Haha. She's damn farnieh la.. I got relli HIGH reading her smses at nite.. coz I was laughin lyk siao.. haha. n she's so sweet as well. hahaha.. lol. i'm still not used to her new hairstyle.. tyin up her hair.. she looks like a small kid!! -oops- mm... today school was kinda slacky n stuff.. arh. i'm still feelin relli sleepy after typin this long post.. oh dear. kie.. i gotta go. gOOd LuCk to all Those haRdWoRking ppl out dErE mugginG theIr heAds Off.. jiA yOu!

this colour reminds me of fags and gays.... hehehehehehehehehe :) :) :)

2005-09-12T13:51:00.000+08:00

You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together
always together
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Our memories
Well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry
It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are...
You and me I can see us dying...are we?

its obvious you have moved on.. so why m i de only stoopid freak holdin on. i hate myself for putting so much in2 this frenship. never expected this. not from you at least. but never mind. coz you dont give a damn. my hopes were high just 2 weeks back.now they are shattered in2 pieces that i dont think anyone will be able 2 put back. i shall just pretend that i've moved on juz like the 3 of you.i shall just laugh, and talk to you and everyone else like i once did. i shall juz suffer the pain silently. anyway it doesnt mean anything to anyone else does it.i deserve this dont i?call me sensitive, call me a freak. i dont care and i'm gonna make sure it doesnt affect me anymore. ack.

2005-09-11T17:12:00.000+08:00

"A good friend will not come bail you out of jail
But a true friend will be sitting next to you saying WE screwed up!"

I've learned....That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
I've learned....That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
I've learned...That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
I've learned....That the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think that I can?
I've learned....That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
I've learned....That the less time I have to work, the more things I get done.

2005-09-09T13:09:00.000+08:00

hey.. ahh.. its de end of de hols!!!so fast..ack. havent done any studyin @ all.. n de exams start in 3 wks time..i'm so dead la. haha.. have been goin out everydae of de hols. i went 2 escape on mondae..! it rox!.. we sat on every single ride.. even de inverter.. it juz hangs u in de air 360 degrees for 10 secs.. so cool. arh.. been screamin my lungs out 2dae. no more voice. lol. we dat in de wet n wild thing ard 10 times.. n were completely wet by the time we came out. hahaz. thank goodness we brought xtra clothes 2 change.. oh! n i finally got my digital camera.. @ last. its damn cool la. yay. :) n i bought myself a surfers paradise windbreaker thing.. so cool. but i think its a tad 2 big.. heck. haha. i've been 2 PP @ least 5 times de past week... saw a pair of tkgians fags on sat in ISETAN.. i cudn help laughin.. n saw another pair of tkgian fags ytd..@ top 20. lol. the fags r takin over the world!!! yuck. i'm relli disgusted la. eeyer. haha.. no offence.

sheesh. its 10 weeks till de end of de year. its all cumin 2 an end so fast. only 50 days to seein de sec 4s.. dere's gonna be a certain sum1 i'm gonna miss lots... never expected us 2 bcum so close in a matter of few mths. once upon a time, i was so scared to talk 2 her.. now my day doesn seem complete till her name appears in my inbox.. ahh. juz gonna relli miss her. n pri's gonna go 4 IP nx year as well. oh dear. my fav senior n fav junior r both gonna be gone next year. n de lonliness is gonna seep in. ack.

2005-09-04T13:01:00.000+08:00

eXpose....
i'll never get over you.. getting over me.

I hear you're taking the town again
Having a good time.
With all your good time friends.
I don't think that you think of me.
You're on your own now.
And I'm alone and free.
I know that I should get on with my life.
But a life lived with out you could never be right.
As long as the stars shine down from the heavens.
Long as the rivers run to the sea.
I'll never get over you gettin' over me.
I try to smile so the hurt won't show.
~~Tell everybody~~
~~That I was glad to see you go.~~
But the tears just won't go away (won't go away)
Lonliness found me.
Looks like it's here to stay.
I know that I ought to find someone new.
But all I find is myself always thinkin' of you.
As long as the stars shine down from the heavens.
Long as the rivers run to the sea.
I'll never get over you gettin' over me.
oh... No matter what I do.
Each night's a lifetime to live through.
I can't go on like this. (I need your touch)
You're the only one I ever ~~loved~~... oh.
And as long as the stars shine down from the heavens.
Long as the rivers run to the sea.
I'll never get over you gettin' over me.
I'll never get over you gettin over.
Never get over you... gettin over.
I'll never get over you gettin' over me.

ack. i dun give a fuckin damn anymore... do i?

2005-09-03T19:54:00.000+08:00

AVRIL LAVIGNE LYRICS
"My Happy Ending"

So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something You said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

[Chorus:]

You were everything,
everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be,
but we lost it
And all of the memories,
so close to me,
just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

[Chorus]

It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

[Chorus x2][x2]

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...So much for my happy endingOh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

no better song to potray my feelings..i dunno what to believe anymore. seems lyk i'm d only person ppl dun haf time 4.. ack. y m i wastin so much time on you?

2005-08-31T19:45:00.000+08:00

heyz..arh. feel lyk crap. havent been feelin well for da past few daez..threw up lots. so gross... still feelin a lil nauseus.. k. b4 u ppl get anything rong in ur heads, i shall juz clarify. i'm NOT pregnant! gosh.. dunno where this funny ideas cum from..esh. not feelin well since mondae.. i, bein the genius that i m, still decided 2 go 2 school on tues..tho i was runnin a slight fever in de mornin.. n i got sent home. haha. cuz i threw up a lil. so stupid. go 2 school only 4 one period. mt. so gong. ack.. haf been doin nth but sleeepin n throwin up n smsin 4 de past few daez.. feelin restless now. wen 2 school on wed.. but felt relli weak.so i was kinda in a relli lousy mood. perhaps thats y i din quite enjoy de teacher's day celebrations...it was sorta screwed. i think it cud haf been planned better la. de ACES day dance was kinda fun tho. did it w soo ming. hahaz... but i still think last year's one was better.yea.. i had 2 dance on d stage w chay... ahh. sweet memories. :) we even made up a whole story abt mr kiasee i think 2 rmb de moves.. "owe $$ dun pay!"... lol.that was our title of de story. hahaz... went back 2 HGS after dat. so fun seein my ex classmates.. i love dem la! hahaz. anyways gotta go oredi...

a special note...

tHaNx 2 THOsE fReNS Hu cALLeD Or SmSeD To AsK iF I Was aLrItE.. AnD Hu GaVe Me LoTsA AdViCe..dRiNkIN CampBeLL SoUp..EaTInG hUdSoN sWeeTS N WaD NoT. HAhA. ThAnX FoR SHoWiN ThAt YoU CarE gUyS..ReLLi ApPrECIaTe IT! n A VErY SPeCiAl ThAnX 2 DeE DEe.. pRi..dOrY n NAwAL..yOU GuYS JUsT rAwK!!!loVE yA..

2005-08-23T13:31:00.000+08:00

willy wonka, willy wonka..
the amazing chocolatier!
willy wonka, willy wonka..
everybody give a cheer!
he modest, clever and so smart,
he barely can restrain it!
with so much generosity,
theres no way to contain it..
to contain it.. to contain..
to contain.. to contain..
willy wonka, willy wonka,
hes the one that youre about to meet!
willy wonka, willy wonka,
hes a genius who just cant be beat!
the magician and the chocolate whiz
hes the best darn guy who ever lived..
willy wonka, here he is!

lol.

2005-08-22T13:15:00.000+08:00

wahaaaa!!!!wen to watch charlie n d choc factory ytd.. "willy wonka.. willy wonka..." hehe.. d song's totally stuck in my head now..Its quite a funny as well as fascinating movie in my opinion.. n temptin as well.. heehee. Madagascar was juz funny.. tis has more meaning to it.. n de last part was kinda sweeet. Haha.. oh n not forgetting de oompa loompas! [ish tt how u spell it?] haha.. those cute lil thingy's dat dance all over.. n de squirrels were cute 2. hahaha. I liked de movie ...tho Johnny depp looked seriously gay lorh. Bleh. So much make up..eeks. oh.. my 19 yr old couz hu was sittin beside me fell asleep half way thru d movie! Tt stupid arse. Hmph. De worse thing was tt I had paid 4 his ticket..! it was meant as a treat.. n sum ppl dun appreciate it all.. wad do dey do?.. dey sleep durin d movie..! n den l8r on after de movie ended..i asked him how it was...he kept sayin it was very nice..n denied sleepin summore. sheesh. actually we had planned to watch d maid..but den ended upwatchin Charlie n d choc factory.. lol. Last week, we planned to go watch Charlie n d choc factory.. we ended up watching bewitched.. dat movie was okie.. yea..
ouch. i fell durin de netball course on fri. it was kinda farnieh i admit. n thanx 2 de wonderful zanx team 4 bein so over- concerned 4 me.. :) .. haha. yea. i noe wad their hidden intention was.. all of dem tryin 2 escape from de course rite? haha. i've got a wound on my rite arm now.. near my elbow.. scraped my arm. it huts. ouch. n a BIG balakoo [my version of spellin it kkz..] on my head... very very big. n very very pain. n 2 all thoz der laffin @ me.. STOP LAFFIN!.. try fallin n bangin ur head on d ground of d netball court.. which ish de parade square. hah. never actually realised how hard it is. wonder y i keep injurin myself by playin netball this year..i dun rmb havin any injuries last year... This year..it was first sprainin my ankle a lil @ de beginning of de year.. n then my famous blue finger.. den now this. i feel so ill fated. hahaz.. kie gotta go..

2005-08-18T12:39:00.000+08:00

DE IDEA OF A GOOD FREN!!..=)

> In kindergarten your idea of a good friend was the person who let you have the red crayon when all that was left was the ugly black one.

>In primary one, your idea of a good friend was the person who went to the washroom with you and held your hand as you walked through the scary halls.

>In primary two, your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you stand up to the class bully.

>In primary three, your idea of a good friend was the person who shared their lunch with you when you forgot yours, you left it on the bus.

>In primary four, your idea of a good friend was the person who let you copy the social studies homework that you forgotten to do the previous night.

>In primary five, your idea of a friend was the person who saved a seat on the back of the bus for you.

>In primary six, your idea of a friend was someone who comforted you and lent their shoulder to you when you received your PSLE results.

>In secondary one, your idea of a friend was the person who helped you to pass the love letter to your crush/stead.

>In secondary two, your idea of a good friend was the person who comforted you when you broke up with your boy/girl friend, saying that the person is not even worth of your tears.

>In secondary three, your idea of a good friend was the person who would come over to your house and help you decide on which clothes to wear on your first date, although she had her date waiting for her.

>In secondary four, your idea of a good friend was the person who >would help you in the "O" levels' examination when you had chicken pox and on the examination day, you recovered but your friend had the disease and had to stay home for a week.

>Now, your idea of a good friend is still the person who gives you the better of the two choices, holds your hand when you're scared, helps you fight off those who try to take advantage of you, thinks of you at times when you are not there, reminds you of what you have forgotten, helps you put the past behind you but understands when you need to hold on to it a little longer, stays with you so that you have confidence, goes out of their way to make time for you, helps you clear up your mistakes, helps you deal with pressure from others, smiles for you when they are sad, helps you become a better person, and most importantly loves you!

2005-08-18T12:21:00.000+08:00

beautiful songs...

james blunt- you're beautiful..

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
F**king high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

gevin degreaw- chariot

Staring at a maple leaf
Leaning on the mother tree
I said to myself we all lost touch
Your favorite fruit is chocolate covered cherries
And seedless watermelon
Nothing from the ground is good enough
Body RiseLook what's over me

[Chorus:]Oh chariot
Your golden waves
Are walking down
Upon this face
Oh chariot
I'm singing out loud
To guide me
Give me your strength
Remember seeing moon's rebirth
Rains made mirrors of the earth
The sun was just yellow energy
There is a living promise land
Even over fields of sand
Seasons fill my mind
And cover me
Bringing it back
More than a memory

[Chorus]

You'll be my vacation away from this place
You know what I want
Holding that cup that's pouring over the sides
You make me want to spread my arms and fly

[Chorus]

gevin degraw- I Don't Want To Be [one tree hill theme song]

I don't need to be anything
other than a prison guard's son
I don't need to be anything
other than a specialist's son
I don't have to be anyone
other than the birth of two souls in one
Part of where I'm going,
is knowing where I'm coming from

Chorus:
I don't want to be
Anything other than what
I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do,
Is think of me and
I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
I'm surrounded by liars, everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by imposters, everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by identity crisis everywhere I turn
Am I the only one who's noticed?
I can't be the only one who's learned!

(chourus)
I don't want to be
Anything other than what
I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
Can I have everyone's attention please?
If you're not like this and that,
you're gonna have to leave
I came from the mountain
The crust of creation
My whole situtaion-made from clay to stone
And now I'm telling everybody

(Chourus)
I don't want to be
Anything other that what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to doIs think of me and
I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
I just wanna be
yeah(X3)

2005-08-04T12:12:00.000+08:00

ouch. my tummy's aching lyk shit. i dunnno y either.. but i am in great pain.. ouch!!! arh.. i haf a feeelin i'm gonna do relli bad 4 my napfa..its an instinct. for once, i'm hoping it doesn come out true. oh.. nawal ponned art club yts. she came over 2 my place instead. oo...we had so much fun. haha. that gurl ah.. tsk2.. she stayed till 7+.. we were supposedly to be studyin e math but as usual..we had more fun. ahhh... so fun. i think tts y my tummy's achin. coz i laughed too much ytd..kk.. gotta go oredi. oh..dee din cum 2 skul 2dae.. wonder if she's sick..

2005-07-29T11:11:00.000+08:00

haha.. i n kiran r so lame.. we'r playing the reaction thingy on cali's blog..nv noticed it was dere.. so cool. my best time was 0.078.. kiran cant beat mine..haha! shall try 2 get it on my bloggie as well..had physics spa 2dae.. so crappy. i' gonna get a lot of marks penalised for the horrigible graph i drew..i've never drawn such a terrible graph in my life.. my pencil lead kept breaking n the graph became so thick..eeyer. but i lyk 3 periods of practical.. @ least i have cali 2 crap with.

wells..the Prefects Investiture was ytd.. quite okie la. i think dey deserve some applause for all the hardwork dey've put in rite?.. lyk *ahem* having a straight face for one whole hour.. seriously thot dey were forbidden 2 smile.. it was quite fun actually..if u minus the looong draggy speech by the GOH.. no offence. it was juz tt it wasn very clear @ the back.. n i think it was a lil 2 long.[i'm being nice here] lol. all the ex seveners were sitting 2gether..so it was relli fun crapping. me.. nawal.. halima.. yuin cheng.. azzah... jacq.. shameen.. fadh.. liyana. haha.. jacq slept thru most of it.. she was practically falling off her chair!! lmfao. yuin cheng slept on my shoulder thruout the whole thing..only woke her up wen mdm khoo past by.. haha. she started off w studying physics.. [the usual her].. den after 12+ she juz slept.. the whole row in front of me was sleeping as well.. so we kept disturbing dem.haha. n the part where all the prefects sat n stood up 2gether was quite farnieh as well. wonder how long dey took 2 master tt. i lyked the loisy n her drama part. so funny. n she stole tt "astalavista baby" thing from a movie i lent her last year.. n tt joke was from the russel peters movie as well. haha. no wonder it sounded so familiar. overall..think it was quite alrite. saw simmie n xin hui l8r on. xin hui's become so dao. :x .. hmph. jk..

argh. next weeks gonna be one of my worst weeks ever. dere's phy ca on tues, hist ca on wed, eng compre on thurs.. n den australian math afta school..den rite after dat gotta rush 4 napfa.. n den dere's e math ca on fri. n pesta sukan on sat. is the school out 2 kill us or sth?oh wait. almost 4got. mrs liw gave us a 300 word reflection 2 do on punctuality. lyk we dun haf enuf on our hands rite. *pulls hair out*

btw my 2.4 timing is 14:20.. never thot i cud do tt.. wow. i luv myself. hahaha..

I open my eyes
I try to see but
I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto a time
when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that
I've done
No I can't
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

2005-07-26T13:32:00.000+08:00

wheeee... another nice lesson went by. chem in the computer lab. doin pair work. this time it was relli the comp lab k. not the chem lab.. which some idiot said as comp lab last time. i still rmb that incident. think you can guess hu that idiot was. so embarrasing. arh..! ahh. theres a math ca tml. everyone in the library's studying. but i dun quite feel lyk it. havent touched a math chapters for this test at all..n it doesnt quite help dat dere's a lot of stuff i dun understand. kena sai. heard the bio ca 2dae was terribly horrible. haha. -grins- i dun take bio! ladeedum. hahahaha. thats for all thoz triple science ppl who laughed at us for having geog ca last week..wen dey din have any. bleh. oh ya. the PI souveneirs for the sec fours are so nice. haha. i had a hand in it. miao flufffed some of it to the max.. n we were all playing with small syroafoam balls in class... oo..n i had the honour of checking all the pressies to see which needed re doing. it was relli fun. some of dem are relli nice. i luv kwann's n ying ling's n germaine's n a few others.. the sec four better appreciate this stuff.. miao spent days of sewing in class..she had to keep re doin it coz it wasnt fluffed up enuf. so farnieh. n it has the effort of the production team as well: me..hid..audd n shi lin. haha..kie thats about it for now..tataz..

[everyone keeps telling me to have faith in our frenship. i've tried doing that. i just dunno if i have the paitence to keep it going any longer. i dun even noe wad faith dey are talking about any more.]

2005-07-26T13:17:00.000+08:00

i am gonna smile like nothing's wrong.
talk like everything's perfect.
act like its all a dream.
n walk away
pretend its not hurting me
everytime i look back
memories will start flashing back
times we used to be so happy together
maybe it is all a dream

2005-07-25T16:02:00.000+08:00

oh dear. just realised its my couz's birthdae today. i'm so dieded. i havent even got him anything. well. what do you get for a guy whose 24?.. he gave me sth relli sweet on my bdae. i must get him sth. but i'm a loss of what. gosh. how could i have forgotten his bdae?.. -shrieks-

2005-07-24T19:57:00.000+08:00

Its funny how all the frenships I cherish so much last not more thean 6 mths. How wonderful. In the end, its always me who’s the root of everything. Why is it always the OTHER person who ends it n not me? It relli makes me wonder. What is wrong with me? Am I so fucking useless. Yes, unwanted. That's what I am.

beautiful lyrics from backstreetboys...

Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I cant find no rest
Where I'm going is anybody's guess
I've tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete
Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my babyIt's written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake
I've tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all
I'm going to be is incomplete
I don't mean to drag it on,
but I can't seem to let you go
I don't wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)
I've tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all
I'm going to be is incomplete
Incomplete

2005-07-23T16:10:00.000+08:00

Hey..argh..feeling relli lazy rite now.. have lotsa overdue work to catch up with but I juz feel lyk slacking..tried sitting on my table with my books starring at me.. but it din quite work..juz ended up stoning even more.

Had trng on Friday..it was kinda fun..not much of physical or endurance..it was more of stratergy n ball handling.. I lyk tt.. zid din cum for trng.. din seee her in school either.. mm..other den her.. think the whole zanx team attended. Emil came too. Finally. :) so dere was a total of 12 of us that attended trng.. haha.. its better den havin four a few weeks back. Well… I realized how much competition I have for my position..how come dere r always so many midfielders? Even in the school team last year.. it was the same scenario.. dere was Shannon, alene, zid, rach n me.. this time in recre its worse.. deres emil, zid, me, unna, siew chi, Amanda n olovia all fighting for WA n C as well. Hmph. Not fair. All out to steal MY position.. Dee's been trying all of us for different positions lately..its quite fun 2 play positions u’ve never played b4..last week she put me n zid as defenders first.. for fun. Hehe.. well we are the 2 shortest players I think.. so it was quite a funny sight. But I realized I defend better den I think do. Lol. Mebbe its bcoz our shooters aren’t as tall as dey’r supposed 2 be..haha. try imagining me defending dory or yi wei.. dey'r lyk HEADS above me.. kie lar.. its 15 cm. still a lot huh. Den dee put us as shooters. Another funny sight. Coz the defenders were practically towering above us.but... I shot in one relli beautiful shot! *so proud of myself*..-beams-.. hmm..mebbe if I n zid put in 50 shots a day or sth.. we can bcum potential shooters. Jk. This week dee made me play GD for half a game.. or was it GK?.. cant rmb.. but I noe it’s a position I’ve never tried in my 2 and a half years pf netball..it juz feels farnieh defending someone hu's taller den u..i kept commiting obstruction. Argh. Den she finally put me as WA.. m beloved position! We tried centre passes stratergy stuff too..which sucked.. not a single successful one. Our attack’s relli weak. Pesta sukan’s in 2 weeks time.. if only the sec fours cud play..wud have been so much fun. But den again.. I doubt dey want 2.. dey are all juz more den happy to get netball off their backs.. hehe. L8r on after trng we juz sat ard n crapped.. siew chi was trying 2 advertise her sports bra that she’d bought the wrong size.. she overrated herself n bought size M. heh. So farnieh.

Oh ya.. CONGRATS PRIYANKA!!!
she got accepted to TJC thru IP..lucky her. Relli relli happy for her. Guess she deserves it with her kind of genius brains.. but I realized I’m gonna miss her SO SO SO much..wun be able 2 spend as much time w her. Oh dear.

Oops. N I accidently ripped her belt after trng..it was a playful tag.. n her belt got deattached.. arh. I feel so bad. Cud tell she was damn pissed but was tryin relli hard bot 2 show it.. she declined the offer I made to sew it back 4 her tho..well..she knows how bad my sewing skills are..feel relli relli bad. I dunno how 2 make it up 2 her..

eeyer. My couz mite be goin to AUSTALI A next year..to study. Not fair! I wanna go as well! Juz cant wait to finish my education her.. den I mite have the chance to fo dere n study as well. Studying in singapore’s gonna drive me up the wall real soon! Australia’s a relli nice place. Oh no. I’m gonna be all alone next year huh. If both my couz n pri goes off.. argh. Those lucky freaks! Hmm..mebbe I’ll go after my o levels or sth. Den do uni dere. Perhaps new jersey or Canada.. haha.cant wait.

Haha. Gtg. C ya..

2005-07-21T12:35:00.000+08:00

Ladeedum. Haha. That's dee's copyrighted word tt i've been using throughout the week.. sho fun to irrit8 her.. :) whee. Was updating my blog ytd when mrs chia suddenly came. Arh. So scary. Thank goodness I closed the window just in time.. the person beside me wasn’t tt lucky tho. Feel sho bad for not warning her. Whoops. Haha. wadeva I blooged was gone. Oh dear. Well ytd was kinda nice. I felt relli crappy as well as hyper.. or was it hyper as well as crappy.. ahha.. wdv. Was relli happy after chem. Guess things wen a lil better den I thot it wud be. Tho I noe its only gonna last wen we have to work together. But it made me reeli happy anyway. Haha. need to thank yan yan for all her advice. It worked. :) den i wen 2 orchard with my mum. to buy new uniform. thot i shud get the “holy with an 'e'” image of ppl on me out of their minds.. but apparently the freaking shop only had once size bigger.. [which was WAY too big] n one size smaller [which was WAY too small.. how I wish I was dat slim 2 fit into dat tho. Heh.] dey had run out of penifore’s my size.. n the same went for the blouses. Eeyer. Hor frustratin. My mum was damn pissed. Not at anybody in particular.. alright meebe @ me wen she found out that dey do sell uniforms at the bookshop. But dey dun wad.. well..the last time I checked dey din. Oh dear. So we went all the way dere for no reason. Wasted my mum’s precious time. But I saw this reeli nice cross pendant-chain.. it was relli nice.. so I got it 4 myself. Haha. Was splurging a lil. Saw a lot of nice stuff. But I was broke. Oh no. den went home.. slacked a lil.. den watched tv. Haha. Think Im addicted to “portrait of home 1”.. hehe. Its kinda nice la. Juz dat I h8 dat tt fyn person. Haha. Den watched ONE TREE HILL.. ahhhh.. sho nice. My darling ish so cute.. :) hehe. Gosh.. I’m such a slacker la. Nawal went for tt one-nite only siti nurhaliza concert ytd.. n she was bitching bout all the fanatic fans dere. All the mads. No offence tho. So farnieh. Lalalala.. think I shud go oredi.. tataz..

2005-07-21T12:18:00.000+08:00

Your Birthdate: December 30

Your birthday on the 30th day of the month shows individual self-expression is necessary for your happiness.
You tend to have a good way of expressing yourself with words, certainly in a manner that is clear and understandable.
You have a good chance of success in fields requiring skill with words.

You can be very dramatic in your presentation and you may be a good actor or a natural mimic.
You have a vivid imagination that can assist you in becoming a good writer or story-teller.
Strong in your opinions, you always tend to think you are on the right side of an issue.

There may be a tendency to scatter your energies and have a lot of loose ends in your work.
You may have significant artistic talent and be very creative.

2005-07-21T12:10:00.000+08:00

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy.
They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder.
It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment.
They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

How Do People See You?

oh dear. do ppl relli see me liddat?

2005-07-21T12:08:00.000+08:00

Your Brain is 60.00% Female, 40.00% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female
You are both sensitive and savvy
Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed
But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

2005-07-19T14:44:00.000+08:00

hey.. online to do the phy assignment.. self- study huh. i dun even understand physics with mr yap teaching. how am i gonna understand this shit on my own. well on the other hand.. mebbe i will understand it better myself. i mean lyk compared to him teaching... erm. shant elaborate.. haha. guess the threefour-ers? will get what i mean.. well.. we ran 2.4 today. in preparation for NAPFA. i dun quite like the new route. its kinda bumpy.. my timing was 15:21. argh. slackened by 21 secs since last year. sheesh.. its no where near an A even. wonder if i'll be able to improve my timing by another 40 odd secs. but i'm quite proud of myself. *grins lyk an idiot* i ran continuously. think i only stopped to walk for sth less than a min? yay. tts an improvement alright. but my thighs are achin lyk shit now. heh. n i DONT WANNA run for x-country..! i wanna be in the zany parade! *sobs*

eeyer. we got back our social studies SBQ today. i totally sucked @ it. i'm prepared to get another F9 for combined humans. juz passed my history as well. argh. better pull up my socks for combined humans.. esp SBQ or i'll juz get a F9 for my o levels too. haha.. heard EOYs are in 12 weeks.. sounds so scary. got back chem too. guess i did ok. juz about as well as i expected. which is not that well after all. heh. :)

mm.. talked to k ytd.. haha... not exactly talked.. juz had an exchange of a few smses. but it made me feel better after that. i dunno y. mebbe i'm just getting too paranoid on this whole mess. decided that i shall juz go on as if nth ever happened. maybe things will get better then.

79 painful days. time to move on huh.

2005-07-18T08:29:00.000+08:00

Haha..i realized how pathetic my abandoned bloggie lookz!..poor blog..heh. I'm quite sure no1 reads it anymore..but shall juz upd8 it for fun, laughter, peace n joy.. lalalala..

Yay!its nawal's n pecky'z bdae today! HAPPY BDAY DARLINGZ!!! Heh. I wrapped wal's pressie wif many many layers..the top n most bottom layer is with wrapping paper n den all the rest in between is of newspaper..haha..actually intended to wrap it in 15 layers.. but half way thru my laziness got the betta of me. Lolx. Haha.. I'm gonna have so much fun watch her unwrap every single layer.. :) oh ya.. all “the bashers” are goin over to her place for a potential belated bdae party on fri..! I dunno if I can make it coz I have trng tt day.. sheeesh. Hmm.. I went 2 her place laz Friday tho..it was so fun. We watched the RUSSEL PETERS show.. it was relli super farnieh.. PUNANI! Lolx.. we both laughed until our tummies were achin.. watched snippets of the holy grail too..it was funny in a stupid kinda way.

Hmmm... everyone seems to be talking about the spate of thefts in tk. Eeyer. Tk's getting so unsafe. Gives me the creeps.. I’m not gonna bring my discman or hp anymore to skul.. not gonna take the risk. :) ..think it sumhow started wif the 2e7 theft last year? I can still rmb the scene and the reactions of the 2e7ners wen the thefts were discovered.. ppl were so pissed and were swearing lyk I've neva seen dem do so.. haha.. the culprits had nth much 2 steal from my bag tho.. mm..i rmb 4e1 n a few other classes got ransacked as well this year.. n I dun think the culprits were ever caught were dey?.. mebbe that's y dey keep repeating it..? think it's the same group of ppl doin it consistently.. wonder wad joy dey get from doin this.. *shrugs* well since it was a lesson b4 recess I’m sure ppl muz have past by 3e8 didn't dey? Mebbe.. the fact that it was @ the corner made it an easier target.. heard tt rachel's hp was found in sum1 elses bag.. haha. Either the culprits did that intentionally to sabotage some1 or dey juz aren't dat professional yet.. mebbe tk's getting a lil 2 lenient on tiz..tts y history keeps repeating itself?.. I'm sure other schools wud have embarrassed the culprits during assembly or sth.. but I gotta admit.. the spotcheck was quite fun. Relli.tho I'm sure its purpose was meant 2 be sth else.. we had thiz Chinese speakin tcher hu din noe eng..relievind mrs diane ang.. for a math.. so all the non-chinese speaking ppl had to get evrythg transl8d..2 bad our spring test was over by then..wish it was during the spring test.. haha. Miao brought her hp..mp3 n stuff to skul..thank goodness it wasn't one of the heads hu checked.. n atiqah had a whole compartment in her bag full of pantyliners tt she stole from the sick bay I think..lmfao.

To a special some1: [dun tink u'll come across tiz.. but I'm tired of writin so many letters addressed to juz to end up crushing dem l8r on..]

I'm sho confused. I dunno where to start or where to end. There's so much I wanna say yet I dunno how to put it all.. haish.. I'm not relli sure what to think.. do u want 2 end this once and for all? Guess I have a choice 2 either forget this whole patch..put it behind me and move on.. acting as it nth ever happened..and talk to u the way I did 77 days back.. [lyk wad ur “best fren” owaiz does.. or dwell on it. But I've chosen the latter coz I dun want it 2 ever come in between our frenship again..think if we juz let things be as it is now.. its gonna cause worse complications down the road. I'm not gonna know anything unless you decide to tell me.. but I juz wanna say I'm relli sorry for whatever I did that made you wanna do this to me..i don't know why and I don't think I wanna noe why either..truth hurts and you know it too.mebbe wadeva I say now wun make a diff to u..but it will to me.

K said to give ya time..n I did. Juz wondering how much more time u'll need. I dunno how it all began.. the I dao u cuz u dao me.. n vice versa was getting relli ridiculous if u ask me.mebbe the past 77 days has been a test for our frenship..i dun want to think we've failed the test tho. *shrugs* guess its my fault for causing this pain that I cant seem to bear any longer. I shudnt have put so much into this frenship from the beginning. After all the pain is one sided.. so was the frenship all along anyway. But I nv actually minded it. I knew it was only me cherishing the frenship..n it mite not have made a difference to ur life..but it din bother me. I juz think we got very much closer the first 4 mths of this year.. don’t ask me y or how. Perhaps it was the obs, *shrugs* all I know is that I dun wanna lose this frenship again.. we almost lost it after june last year..and I think that fate has decided for us to have another go at this.frenship by putting us in the same class again this year..pls dun let history repeat itself. U noe very well wad I went thru with frenships last year.guess my pessimism was rite. True frenships dun exist. Well frens 4eva?..sth u've told me over n over again in the past 2 years that I've gotten to know ya better..what happened to dat notion of urs?..*sigh*.. I saw this comin the day our posting was announced..i was rite wasn’t i?.. dun tink I need to say how much ur frenship means to me..but I guess I juz nv realized how happy it made me.i dun understand this mess anymore.. wadeva we used to have between us has seemed as if it has shattered. How complicated. It hurts esp wen I see ya carry on with ur life as if nth ever happened..but den again..perhaps the whole patch has only affected me huh. Perhaps I dun deserve ur frenship @ all. Mebbe I juz expected too much out of this frenship?.. wish I nv found out how much I meant to u. guess I do have a choice to do whatever it takes to save this frenship. But den again..it doesn't make much sense to continue a one sided relationship does it?..

I've tried to move on. Fake smiles. Fake laughs. Fake frens. N wad not. All a fake put up.. secretly hoping that one day the pretence will turn into the truth..but I promise not a day has past without me thinking about this.. n I dun promise such stuff easily. I juz wanna turn back time. Right to the starting line. Wish I cud juz rewrite this whole chapter of my life. Mebbe the frenship lasting was an illusion on my part. It may take one to turn an acquaintance into a frenship but it take s2 to make that frenship work. Thanx for opening my eyes. Now I noe how much my frenship means 2 ppl I cherish so much.

it hurts to care so much. I almost wish I never did.

2005-07-14T20:41:00.000+08:00

whee. the PB results were out today. Eunice became head..n Cali got the post of vice head.. congrats cali. :) always knew u wud make it.. yay.. all her hard work paid off. haha. i was jumping up n down when the results were out. as if i was the vice head or sth. hehe. so happie 4 her. n i bet Eunice ish gonna make a relli good head prefect. haha. i'm sure it was all my best wishes. *ego* .. n all the ppl i wanted to get in2 the exco got in. hehe.

the greatest sorrow is to unable to share the joy of someone u treasure n value so much tho.

2005-07-11T14:56:00.000+08:00

yay. over and done with oral. abt reflexology.think i kinda messed up the picture desciption and convo tho. my first question was.. "describe an injury u had and what you did".. haha. my mind went kinda blank. thank goodness for my netball injury. rmb when i was goin ard with a blue finger. haha. that hurt a lot. but well.. it came in kinda handy for the oral. i muttered some crap about it. but l8r on i realized it had nth to do with reflexology. ack. and my 2nd question was "describe the advantages and disadvantages of alternative medicine." haha. kinda expected that qn when i found out the topic was reflexology.. but i screwed it up by not knowing what to say.. n juz kept repeating myself. haha. during my oral preparation..as in when they give you a few mins to read it.. saw dory @ the central staircase. she was mouthing sth which i couldn understand.. n i almost laughed out aloud.. she gave up after tt. oh ya. i found it quite amusing that they gave us and the seniors the exact same thing. so scary. cutting down on preparation time huh. haha. was supposed to go for CIP l8r on. but i decided to go home.. be a guai gurl n study chem. which i din get much done anyway but thats beside the point. lalala.. haha.. gtg oredi. c ya.

2005-05-05T16:13:00.000+08:00

do hope tt someone stumblez upon this somehow..

friendz..
To have a friend is one of the sweetest gifts
that life can bring.
friends share your laughter with you
and cries ur sadness with you
a fwen likez everything about you
even the thingz you try not to show
a fwen is one hu knows all about you
and wont go away esp wen u need dem the most..
faithful fwenz are beyond price
and their goodness cannot be measured
frenship..the older it grows..
the stronger it gets..

2005-04-17T18:21:00.000+08:00

god..
grant me the serenity to accept things i cannot change.
the courage to change the things i can n
the wisdom to know the difference.

2005-04-15T16:24:00.000+08:00

itz only been minutez since she left..but i feel insecure altogether oredi..sigh..

2005-04-14T12:16:00.000+08:00

blahh..juz feelin so down..dun feel lyk upd8in..blergh.. got thingz up 2 my neck rite now..n i juz realized our physicz ca is a day after e math..all tiz while i tot its a week after tt..lyk thx rite..i dun happen 2 understand a shit of e math nor phy..was plannin to try to understand phy after e math ca..but its all shit now..blah.. juz dun freakin piss me off now k!

2005-04-11T20:47:00.000+08:00

Everybody's looking for that something
One thing that makes it all complete
You'll find it in the strangest places
Places you never knew it could be
Some find it in the face of their children
Some find it in their lover's eyes
Who can deny the joy it brings
When you've found that special thing
You're flying without wings

Some find it sharing every morning
Some in their solitary lives
You'll find it in the words of others
A simple line can make you laugh or cry
You'll find it in the deepest friendship
The kind you cherish all your life
And when you know how much that means
You've found that special thing
You're flying without wings
So, impossible as they may seem
You've got to fight for every dream
Cos who's to know which one you let go
Would have made you complete

Well, for me it's waking up beside you
To watch the sunrise on your face
To know that I can say I love you
In any given time or place

It's little things that only I know
Those are the things that make you mine
And it's like flying without wings
Cos you're my special thing
I'm flying without wings

And you're the place my life begins
And you'll be where it ends
I'm flying without wings
And that's the joy you bringI'm flying without wings

2005-04-11T15:59:00.000+08:00

blah..i dun understand y did it have to happen to me of all ppl..haven got over it.i juz dun understand y. i juz felt so depressed on sat nite..thx 2 the ppl hu tried cheerin me up..cali n la2 too..gosh that person is so sweet la! after i sms-ed all of dem gd nitez n stuff..she juz suddenly called me on the hp..juz seein my inbox filled with her msgs n hearin her voice made me smile oredi..n she talked to me for very long..tink i put down the fone only @ 1+? i juz completely broke down on the fone..n den she played de girls aloud song..[i'll stand by u..] @ her place n dedic8d to me..heh.so sweet. well ytd was juz tryin so hard not to think bout wad happened.but i eventually broke down again. i just cudnt control de tears any longer.. even wen i was talkin 2 cali n lala..i pretended tt i was okie.. deep down i'm not. i cried for an hour b4 actually fallin asleep.argh! even now.. i try to pretend i'm alright. maybe eventually i will be. will just take my own advice n dun let it affect me. i dunno how but i will try.

girls aloud-i'll stand by you!!

Oh, Why You Look So Sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don’t be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through’
cause I’ve seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don’t know what to do
~~Nothing you confess~~
~~Could make me love you less~~
I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you
So if you're mad, get mad
Don’t hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I’m a lot like you
When you’re standing at the crossroads
And don’t know which path to choose
Let me come along’
cause even if you’re wrong
I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I’ll never desert you
I’ll stand by you
And when...When the night falls on you, baby
You’re feeling all alone
You won’t be on your own

you: thx kie darlin.. u reallie cheered me up.. thx for reallie bein dere 4 me wen i needed u most.. dunno wad i'll do without u.. its frenz lyk u tt make me overcome all my obstacles.. lurve ya lots.. *muackz*

2005-04-11T13:45:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I get emotional
Sometimes I do some stupid things
Sometimes I say what I should just keep inside
Sometimes I'm sad about everything
Sometimes I'm mad and break some things
Sorry times 10 but you just got in the way
Don't give up now running away
I won't hurt you sometimes I'm just a pain
And that's the way it is
That's just the way I am
Sometimes I feel like crying
Laying down and dying
That's when I need you
Laughing's always easy, but sometimes I'm just scared you'll leave me
That's when I feel emotional
[fade]
You say I'm just impossible
Totally unpredictable
I'm just a girl get use to it
No big deal
You can't change me why would you try?
I'm no angel but I can make you smile
And that's the way it is
That's just the way I am
Sometimes I feel like crying
Laying down and dying
That's when I need you
Laughing's always easy but, sometimes I'm just scared you'll leave me
That's when I feel emotional
Don't give up
I won't hurt you
Oh, sometimes I'm just a pain
And that's the way it is
That's just the way I am
That's when I need you
Laughing's always easy but, sometimes I'm just scared you'll leave me
That's when I feel oh yeah
That's when I need you
Sometimes I get emotional
[fade]
That's just the way I am
Sometimes I feel like crying
Laying down and dying
That's when I need you
Laughing's always easy but sometimes I'm just scared you'll leave me
That's when I feel emotional

2005-04-08T06:57:00.000+08:00

hey..wazzup..well sorri bout da recent posts..deleted dem oredi..a stupid junior of mine hacked into my account!!!blaaahh..MENG LI i m gonna KIIILLL u!!!anyways ya..mrs hoy n mrs ang changed our places..i misss WAN YEE n KEYI n EMIL SOOOOO much..eh..y muz seper8 uz.. she changed EVERYBODY'S place la..welll @ least atiqah is sittin in front of me..n diddi is beside me..!!yay!!!haha..atiqah is smartybra..didi is smartythrongz..n i m smartyg-string..muahaha.. we r de lingerie team from 3e4..haha..oh n miao oso beside me..think i'll begin 2 lyk my place a lot soon la..i rmb h8in my earlier place a lot for the first week!..now i lurve it..i miss my ole place..

neways..ya..i juz brushed wat mrs kong said bout de ppl smokin aside in the morn..it din strike me tt it wud be her!!haish..i noe she smokes outside school..but wah liao!!haiya... i dunno wadda think bout anymore..

2005-04-05T17:36:00.000+08:00

to someone: i dun think we are close.yu dun get close juz by sharin secretz. its a lot more den tt. let me juz put it this way; u ~~may be~~ are my closest fren but i dun think its vice-versa. y cant yu juz cherish me the way i treasure yu?

2005-04-05T15:21:00.000+08:00

haha..juz went in de prefectz room..hah! cali din let me cum in rite?..c..i went dere anywayz.. itz kinda gross la...damn messy n stinky..no offence la..but de PI stuff ish so nice!!!.. haha..n yes miao hui..de ACS thing very nice kkz?..haha..her hubby giv her one rite?.. blah.. i m so borreeddd!!! cant do the freakin history la..den thurs got chem test oso..as well as the presentation.. wad do u want us to present WIthOUT words..??so irritatain..only got very few pics la..n 5 mins..crazy ah?..blaaaah...oh i noe y cali got tummy ache again..kie its more den a tummmy ache la..but nv mindz..yup..i showed her her photo taken in sec one in the grapevine ttz y rite...ya la..c her face until so *ahem* ugly!!ttz y shez sick!!!hahaha..2dae recess was ~~talkin~~ gossipin with joz..den she was upd8in me bout dat love-sick couple la..haha.. got new nick for them la..dey r the cali-n-kwann-[2]..dun ask me y..den started talkin bout cali n her darlin..gosh..so mean la..how can u all think of her as a lesb..tsk2..

2005-04-05T12:13:00.000+08:00

eiyerr!!!my unrequitted lurve[2] neva cum 2 skul 2dae..aiya..the day was so borin..Pe had volleyball n stuff la..quite okie but not the same wif tt gundu la..sobz..chem oso no partner..a math was quite shitifyin la..blah..juz glad its over..hope I wun fail or anything..anyways celebrated shettal’s sixteenth bdae @ east coast on sun..it poured kinda heavily @ first..n she was bout to cry cuz she tot her 16th bdae was ruined..den l8r on it stopped..n yep..we made it up for the rain..n gave her a super nice bdae...haha..think she wun be able to 4get it for a long time..we smashed her bdae cake on her..muahaha...den her bro..[he is so cute!!!]..n his fwenz made us go cyclin wig dem..so we cycled all de way from Marine cove to de changi air base ..we past the sparksc place too..de place where we went for our geog field trip...yup..we past the safra club..n den we juz stood oppisite de airbase watchin the planes..so nice..we saw a singapore airlin one take off..n a quantas one touch down..was very sweet la..but ya..my butt aches now!!!seriously la..think we cycled for 4 hours non-stop ah?..to n fro I mean..n de worst thing was that I had to ride a tandem bike cuz one of my fwenz cudnt cycle..@ all..so I was lyk tryin 2 balance her n stuff,..Haha..it was so fun..i almost fell twice cuz she kinda totally cant cycle..n cant even balance la..but we had so much fun la..was singin songs all the way n stuff..den we returned bout nine plus..den went out for dinner..n den went to play bowling..haiya very very fun..oh n before that we went to pp to get a pressie for her..so nice..i think its sth lyk wad I got my unrequitted love for her bdae last year.. hmm..yup but MY bUTT AcHeS la..

2005-03-31T12:48:00.000+08:00

only
*you*
can
do
so
much...

melt my heart with ur smile..
cheer me up with ur laugh..
wipe my tears wit a hug..
make my day with ur voice..
n make me laugh with ur blurness...
the reason i m still here is you.
if only u noe how much u mean 2 me..
n wad an ange u r..
haish..

2005-03-31T12:14:00.000+08:00

hey ya..tmlz sports day..for some reason i m so dreadin it!i dunno la..hopefully it rainz 2ml or sth..well went for holi on sun..was very fun..de only not-so-nice thing ish that de colour doesnt cum out so fast..heh.i m still coloured n some asses tot i was sunburnt.ha.well i dun mind even if it came 3 timez a year.heh.but ya my heart got shattered too..sobz..tt person told me he has a gf oredi..haish..haiya..but i m sort of not affected la..so its okie la.haiya..anywayz went to mrs ang'z place ytd to study a math..had so much fun la.she had to literally force us out..sobz..heh.gtg..shall upd8 soon la.

2005-03-24T14:10:00.000+08:00

freak.i just failed my e maths ca.badly.was expected but still...[depression mode]..

2005-03-24T08:56:00.000+08:00

hey ya...whee...so long nv upd8 properly..well my march holz was shit..@ least it din go de way i expected it to..time juz flew by so fast i din do anything much..i felt as if i studied lyk soo much but looking back..i dun think i m any smarter now den i was a week ago..sigh..n i still have lyk lots to catch up with..studyin is so depressin..n i wen for youth class on sat n mi teacher hu ish a lawyer now..n she was lyk oh...noe sth?wdv u all r studyin now wun be of any use 2 u in another 2 years time..n yadiyadi..n she said tt de only thing dat she has actually applied in her life is home ec..n nth else..she totally killed my appetite 4 studyin la..oh!!!

but my penang trip was lyk sooooo fun..we juz so rawk!we trashed kl 15-7 or sth..haha..last year dey trashed us 10-6.. but we lost to penang tho..so we got a silver anyway..nv mindz..haish..i juz had soo much fun la..its one trip i dun tink i'll eva 4get..oh n one nite dere was tiz lyk open floor dancin n stuff..so we danced till 1+..den after tt my couz took me out...haha..i convinced him 2 giv us a treat cuz he got like 10 unexpected A1z for his o's.. so me n my 3 couz wen out @ one plus to play pool...so fun!..den we wen to have supper n i wen back to my couz hotel n sat dere n crapped for so loong..den he sent me back to my hotel at 3.30..haha..i had de key but my very smart roommate locked de door from inside..so i cud not get in n we were lyk screamin our heads off..tryin to get her to wake up..n press de door bell lyk a zillion times..but she smart la..nv wake up!sigh! cuz everyone was damn tired la..we played both de matches tt day.. n plus dance until so long..so i went knockin on my other frenz doors..no 1 woke up..so frustr8tin la!i was abt to go back 2 my couz hotel n den luckily i tried my last fren option..n she answered de door..can yu imagaine being locked out of ur room @ 4 am? haha..so i slept @ 4+ n woke up by 6 de nex dae..yadiyadi..hmm...met a lot of ppl dere 2..

wen out with mama n lala n cali on wed after cheerleading..watched hitch.it was farnieh esp if u are sitting beside la2 hu keeps slippig down the seat either cuz she is laughin too hard or its a moment of suspence thingy..was tryin to recall de first movie i wen 2 watch wif her..until now both of cuz still cant rmb de name..oh yep..ms deepa sent me a very sweet postcard on wed..tt made my week i think..damn sweet la she..tink de teachers had sum postcard sendin exercise n dey each had to choose one pupil to send it 2..haha..so i was de lucky 1..oh wells on sun morn we had a pool party at poorvi'z place..so fun!..haha...ended up pushin 5 ppl into de pool..damn farnieh la..n i realized tt sum1 likes my junior..haha..teased her lyk crazy la..den i saw mrs hoy at bedok..she was waiting for her hubby..sho sweet..

n on mon i had a very bad start to de term..de worst thing was tt i din noe we had an e math ca tt day..cuz i tot it was on thurs..so i totally din study @ all..n i only found out we had the ca one period before de lesson..which was physics n i was in de lab from cali..so i din study anything n i m juz gonna flunk de whole thing..cali oso din noe..n we were de only 2 blur queens..i think her blur influence is comin on2 me..cannot hang ard with her so much readi...tsk2..haha...sheesh..also had a test on vectors 4 physics..n i din even noe dey had started vectorz..cuz i have very nice fwenz hu din tell me anything..so yet another subject i m gonna fail...aiya...oh n 3/4 got in cheerleadin..sho happie..unfortun8tly i got in 200m..i so din wanna get in..my timin ish like de slowest..n i m competin against realli sports ppl..sobsob..i guess sumone has 2 be last rite..so it'll juz me la..but very maluatin leh..aiyo..wheeeee sooo long..k buaiz..gtg..

the lurve you cant have lasts the longest...feels de strongest n hurtz de most..

2005-03-10T12:23:00.000+08:00

hey ya..so happie..de tk c div netballers got first in the east zone..yeah..after soo long..well had a super bad headache ytd after i came back from tuition..took a panadol but it kinda din work..so i kuz lyk lay on de bed for more den half an hour stonin..well i juz realised ytd tt i will be leavin 2ml..its not tt i wasnt lookin 4wad to tiz n stuff..but i was thinkin tt dere was still a few more days left..so i havent even packed yet..nv mind..shall go home..n take my time to pack..i have until six anyway..time pasts too fast!had our ss test first period ytd.. so happie itx overr..!yeah!no more tests..at least 4 tiz term..hah..but ya..it was sorta not tt difficult..but i am so frustrated with myself cuz i din have enuf time to write de most impt thing..y is it impt?argh!hope i dun fail.. den had de sports day dance thing during pe..kinda fun..ming fang..belle..n de N2'z were so spastic..so fun..de rest of de class very dead leh..everyonez worried tt dey will look stupid..cant stand it la!if u r so scared of lookin stupid now..den wad will u rmb of ur tk days?wads so nice bout rmberin non stupid thingz?haha.i m talkin crap..k neva mindz..de rest of de day juz sorta dragged..got back our gg..sheesh i only got 12/15..so sad..oh n i counted my l1r5..got sth lyk 16-17 points..tsk2..i noe its super baaad la..shall work harder durin de holz to catch up wif my work..reallie laggin behind..wanted to go out watch movies wif de two seveners.. HITCH.. but stupid nawal..n kiran n halima ruined my plans!hmph!dun lyk dem!heh.only me n cali shall go den... so sad..n mumtash watched series of un4tun8 eventz wif out me..but she said its kinda disappointin..sheesh..oh n i still wanna go watch black!ai..oh n have i mentioned how much holidae hmwk ish dere?-sigh-..so many projectz!..oh ya almoz 4got..sum1 from three four topt i lyk cali..as in lesb..lmfao la.. juz bcuz i mention her in my blog lyk a lot of times..sheesh..i feel so disgusted..lyk i have never been so insulted of my taste b4 loh!..lyk cali..of all ppl?..muahahaha..n btw y cant 2 gurlz juz be good fwenz?..i juz dun geddit..n oh ya..juz bcuz i call her dear>..siao!dear is a freakin figure of speech..n i call every1 tt..stupid gunguz!!!!

2005-03-09T13:24:00.000+08:00

Why do friendships have to be so complicated? why do dey have to be so hurting? Why cant de frenships i cherish so much be treasured back de same way? why are frenships so hard to understand? why muz frenships be snatvhed away? why do frenships leave footprints in my heart?..why are dey carved so deep tt dey leave a scar..a scar tt mite nv fade?..why do frenshipz have to end? WHY?

2005-03-07T13:49:00.000+08:00

you can always start liking someone over and over again..but you can never stop loving someone..

2005-03-07T13:16:00.000+08:00

hey..how cum otherz can tag on my tagboard..but i cant??*blur look*..nv mindz..in noe i m juz so blur rite..haiz..got all three freakin humanz tests tiz week..believe it or not..i haven started studied at all..i m juz too sian la..n i have both hist n gg 2ml..n ss de day after...-sighs- gonna have to mug all day today..aiya..well..finally cali got her comp workin..after eternity.. heard de netballers lost by one to dunman..soo sad kiez..i m sure dey muz have all cried..dey put up a gd fight tho..i din go 4 de match cuz i wen 4 de heats..i got third 4 200m..n i juz hope i m not in de top 9..cuz i realized i will be competin against steph..sarah ann..n shao fang..so yarr..shant malu myself... anyways..de heats was damn fun..me..duhua..steffie goh n cheng qi..crapped soo much..n i n duhua were both fightin for sixth position in our heats..hehe...n btw i owe her an ice cream!!haha..

so fast itz already wk ten..cant wait for thurs..m gonna pon school on fri*shhhh...*..i m leavin for de gujju netball matches on thurs nite..cant wait..will be back on mon morn..@ 3 a m..dey r crazy arent dey?well..ya n we had our ice breaker lunch between de soccer players..netball..table tennis..n chess..carrom ytd..dey ordered chinese food..i luuurve chinese food..so ya..enjoyed it.. well also got to choose our rooomates..yeah!!..so happie..me..nisha..n pinkz r in de same room..dun tink we'll be sleepin @ all..n ya..finally..a few days off without parents.. school.. homework.. i dun care if we dun win..i noe i m juz gonna enjoy it..cant wait!!!

2005-03-03T09:29:00.000+08:00

The Nature of my love is true so pure.
.And like the moon,its truth endures..
orMy love for you is true so pure..
And like the moon,its truth endures..
I don't need eyes to see the love you give to me..
You're the bestest one of all,
you're always there to catch me when I fall...
or I don't need eyes to see
,the love u give to me..
Your the bestest one of all,
your there to reach for me when I fall..
By your side I want to be,
Your charming face I want to see,
Come and take with you my heart,
As it'd been struck by a Cupid's Dart..
I tried writing your name in the sand
but the waves washed it away,
I tried writing your name in the air but the wind blew it away,
So I wrote it in my heart and that's where it'll stay,
I promise you my dear;I'll love you all the way..
I want you to be the one I die with
,As you're the one who makes me want to live..
To be given this unlucky fate is unfair,
This pain hurts so much,I just can't bear..
You're the greatest one of all,my dear..
You're the almost perfect created being..
You're the reason that I'm here..
Thanks for everything..
orYou're my sweetest dear,
And you're my greatest King,
You're what keeps me here,Thanks for everything..
All the words that I've ever knew,Can't express the lov
I have for you,Everytime I see your face,
My heart beats at a faster pace,
Your voice lingers in my head;in my mind;in my soul,
And your spirit stays in my heart;so red and bold
,The sorrow I go through
,Whenever I'm not with you,Is so unbearable,
That I'm almost unstable,
So here I am;fearful of darkness,
Wishing hard that you'll never leave me alone,
To dispair and loneliness,
And wondering how much love must be shown..

2005-03-03T08:51:00.000+08:00

heh.yaawnz...i m sooo freakin tiiired...*yawwn*..sheesh..was smsin nawal ytd wen i fell asleep..heh.she finally got a hp but she types damn slow..seriously..hehe..well cali gave me earrings 2dae..dey r so nice..sho sweet of cali..thx dear!..aiyah tt gurl still haven got her computer repaired..yaawwnnnnz again..i m so freakin sleepy.. have i already mentioned tt?..whoopz..sorry..wellz..ytd was damn crappy la..but three four ish so sweet..i lurve my class...de last period was legacy so we were learnin de cheers.. de ppl ard me were tryin to cheer me up..so farnieh..emil was damn spastic ..heh.dere was tiz mosquito which kept bitin her left boob..n suckin all de ~~milk~~blood..so it was damn itchy n she din noe whether to scratch or not..a dilemma.haha.she was tryin to catch de lil' pervert red-handed but ended up red-chested @ last..haha..i laff until lyk siao can..den she started tellin me wad colour her under garments were..n wad colour her was her sports bra tt she had brought along..n wad colour were all her fav undergarments..n wad colour din she like..haha..din tink i needed to noe tt much rite?..her bdae's cumin.14th march..same as chay i tink..well shall get emil a g-string or sth..hahaha..n everyone tinkz i n keyi r bisexual..haha..we r both fightin for keanu n we both act damn lesb wif each other..she has keanu's poster beside her..so wen mrs hoy asked us to pair up in triplets..our group was lyk me..keyi..n keanu..hahaha..he's so cute la.even jon johnson is hot! thai n icelandic?..he's so cute too.. *meltz*..well..i dunno wadda i do wifout fwenz..n i tink its de only ting tt keeps me cumin 2 skul..if not i wud have dieded by now..heh.i luuurve threeeeee eeeee fouuuurr...we rock man!oh btw i saw de three onne ~~cheerleadin~~seductive dancin..not bad la..dharshini..farah..lynette all can really dance man.. ish!i dunno how to use my tagboard!!!its seemz faulty.. 0_0 ...

2005-03-02T08:49:00.001+08:00

hey ya..juz had pe..feelin kinda down now..i dunno y..well..okie maybe i do but haish..i dun even wanna tink bout it.. even ytd i was in a freakin cursin mood ytd..esp de last period..which was chem @ de lab..n i sorta vented all my anger on cali..i m soorii..cali..i din mean all i said kkz?..wells i m feelin way too down to upd8..shall juz end her..sheesh!Wad if d only person hu can wipe ur tears is the one that made you cry?

i juz wish we cld all just be gd friends. wifout any feelings getting in the way. den everything wld be fine. there wldn't be broken hearts. there wldn't be broken friendships. and there wldn't be a need for all those tears. wasted.

dont leave me in all this pain..its just hurtin too much
dont leave me out in this rain...its pourin too hard..
cum back n bring back my smile..if only u wud..
come n take this tears away.. only u can do it..
take back all de hurt u've cause..just rewite my live again..
cuz i lie awake n try so hard not to think of u..
but hu can decide wad dey dream?...
n dream i do..

2005-03-01T12:48:00.000+08:00

hmph..i updated a super loong entry ytd n its goone!!!hmph..aiyah..how cum joz thinks cali's darlin is me?..its her la..heh.vey de obvious..den still can guess its me..i wun heck until liddat one la.. level results were out ytd..in exactly 2 years..we wud be in tt position..*shriekz*..hmph! kwann told cali i was weird..n cali instead of defendin me..she dare add into de gossip..hmph..calii..i dun lyk u...

kiran said she told deidre tt too..cant help wunderin y she did tt..i suddenly regret confrontin her..it was a stupid thing to do afterall..i feel so shitty now..shud have known better..i m so weak..argh..let a frenship of two years to be ruined!n it wasnt only my frenship ruined..n tts y it hurts moz i guess...y was i so petty..wish i cud rewrite wad happened..

2005-02-25T09:29:00.000+08:00

WWW.GROUPHUG.US...
go there n laugh ur heads off.

2005-02-25T08:46:00.000+08:00

hey ya.. hehe.. VIVIENNE LIM HUIXIN..
TOOT LA YOU.
ur secret is out!!!
heh..dun worry my lips r sealed..
ytd i was so crappy lor..
i made cali feel so guilty la.
until she cannot say anything
but to stay back..haiya..
poor thing..i m feelin so guilty now
..she kena tease so much by me..
fine.. cali: i shant tease yu anymore kkz..
oh..well 2dae got netball..
den another gossipin session with dorea..
sorry cali...tt one cant be helped =) ...
heh. i think i m de biggest gossiper in tk..
i m owaiz de first to know everything..
sheesh.. feelin disgusted with myself..
well..ytd sth so farnieh happened on de way home..
i was with nawal..
we were sittin at the back la.
den suddenly nawal felt tiz thing
brush against her shoulder.
hahaha..she almoz screamed lor.
guess wad..de seat beside her fell off!!!
hahaha..she always makes me laugh until lyk siao..
dunno la she..den she totally freaked out.
haha..so farnieh. u had to be dere la.
then after tuition..
i wen home..
was smsin viv a lot...
den was on the phone with cali twice.
talk for so long....den put down the phone...
sms-ed summore...den nisha'z phone came.
so i talked another one hour plus on the phone..
was juz feelin super crappy ytd...
so at last ended up not doin anything at all de whole day..
i lead a sucky life man..
well anyway..i m so scared 4 a math.
so many ppl failed very very very badly.
ya..so i am gonna fail very badly too.
wont be surprised if i get six over forty or sth.
just hate it wen nawal got 34.5..
3e2 highest is 40.
f*ck..m freakin scared
but dun really care if i fail or not.
sick of stupid cas already..
we dun have a life.
its just study for this ca.
n when its over.
oh you can always look forward to studyin
for the nex subject which is
in the next two days most prob.
i dunno..just hate my life..
it has been almost two weeks since v day.
n her stupid sms still rings in my head.
and its just worse wenever i see her..
i have been sittin here.
all alone in my home.
and i have been thinking.
thinking just what wrong have i done.
wonderin why i've been wasting all my time.
on that someone who wun even care about me.
it hurts.
it really does.
but i m juz tryin not to show it.
freak!

2005-02-24T12:13:00.000+08:00

hey..finally..deres mt!din have it for two days..so tts why haven quite upd8ed..sigh i saw - in school today twice..i haven seen tt person ard for abt very long..heh.my very long means abt a week or so?.. sheesh..n tho i gotta admit i din manage to forget -..i sorta din think bout - tt much..hopefully one day - wiil juz disappear from my sight 4eva..haish..anyways ytd was damn tirin..i made cali run up n down wif me lyk four to five times..haha..yep i noe all my fault..first i forgot to tell de class to go to comp lab 4..so i had to run 2-3 times up n down..den i forgot de history marklist..so i ran another two times..cali very sweet la.. thx cali :) .. well i had a splittin headache wen i wen home..n i slept damn early loh..luk eight plus..haha..n cali damn gong loh..she called my house @ 11.30 cuz she juz woke up.no actually she woke up wen i called her at bout eight..den she woke woke up at 111.30..kie..wdv..cali is damn blur!!!!!! n kwann ish damn farnieh.. she n cali r typical lurvebirdz..oops! haha.. n cali keeps contradictin herself..one sec she says she treats kwann lyk a sister.so its sisterly lurve.. den de nex moment wen i tease her bout her other darlin..she will go on n on about how faithful she is to kwann..heh..cali has changed so much.she is no more so guai..she can be very horny..jus tt day we were talkin bout how disgustin physics is..dey teach us bout periods.. n cocks.. okie..sick..ya den 2dae was wif cali n den kwann turned up from nowhere with dorea..so i n dorea were teasin de two lurvebirds luk dunno wad..den we walked away..givin dem private time for their mushy things tt i n dorea so dunt wanna know..n kwann oso damn cheeky loh..anyway..saw tiz damn disgustin website..heh..its so sick..shall tell u bout it nx time..okie gtg..

2005-02-21T13:06:00.000+08:00

freak..its mt rite now..n i m sooo bored cuz kiran'z not here!!!WHERE IS SHE?gee..i m so freakin boorreedd..de whole weekend passed so fast...din do much @ all..wen for youth class on sat n were just talkin bout all de religions larr..esp christianity..i think christianity is so interestin.. n dere were so many things i quite never thot abt..sheesh..den wen out for dinner @ nite.. came back at lyk 12 mn..cuz we couldnt get a cab back..ahh..ytd wen for g.netball in de morn..its so fun lar..i mean lyk de khalsa gurls r damn good..dey r all only 15-16 but dey r freakin big n tall..oh n i got selected to play for de penang games... :) ..dey put me as a permanent playerwhich means i'lll be playin for de whole game..tirin liao..m playin centre n wa.. gee!well kinda cool lar..got one sec one..one sec two n one sec three [me]..from tkg...den got one ex gurl oso..tk netball rox! =).. recre trng is totally so fun man! din have as much fun wifout mummitashi but it was alright.. emilda..diyana..n farhana r damn farnieh..so toot.. den we saw mary lee..she came to train de B Div..she was wearin a dress lor..den mrs tan c y n all of us were laughin at her..n den she told mrs tan.." y never see pregnant woman in dress before ah?".. n mrs tan tak boleh tahan..she was jus laughin lyk siao.. mrs tan was makin fun of my shoe bag..she said my shoes looked as if dey were in prison in de shoe bag..so farnieh.. well was studyin wif miao n cali durin recess...tryin to study anyway..n den cali started her gossp..we were ~~talkin~~gossipin bout how gurls can actually lyk gurls..haha..i swear cali is gettin from mz guai to a corruted prefect man! she damn farnieh lar..i think she kena my influence already..!tsk2..den miao oso another farnieh one.. oh both yi chien n charmaine chee din cum 2 school 2dae..both got fever..*raises eyebrow..is fever contagious?..heh.dey so guai one..hard to believe tt dey will porn school la.. fish lar..got a math c a tml..better go study! oredi failed combined humans..m gonna fail chem n phy too..if i fail one more i m juz gonna die!buaiz...

2005-02-18T14:24:00.000+08:00

hey darlingyyyyz..long time never update..sheesh..waitin for trng to start soon..mummy not cumin 2dae cuz she's on mc..shes freakin excused from pe n netball!*stupid back prob of hers!!!*sigh she damn toot lar..oh..haha..i juz realized sth..weneva emilda cumz..she doesnt..n weneva she cumz.. emilda doesnt..i m gonna be soooo booored today!..i m owaiz bored without her..fish! hope trng's gonna be okie.. :)..sigh so many things happened since i last updated..dun wanna blog about it but yarr.. i m juz upset to de max...sths gotta go wrong when u're feelin way too damn good..?blah.. i dunch noe if i made a mistake confrontin tt person [-] bout it..well - denied it anyways so why do i still feel so down?shit.why cant i fuckin let dat person go. n now -'z daoin me..so y do i feel super bad den?..dao-dao lorh..not as if i care after wad - called me.but wells..i guess i do!n i juz hate myself for tt! dunno lar..i m juz confused contradictin myself in every way. i broke down ytd right after school. i was @ the bus stop with nawal..n suddenly i juz burst...i was so hyper the whole day..but after last period i just felt like shit.i could feel the tears durin ss but they just din wanna come out.well..i was partly down bcuz i failed my combined humans damn bad..like wad..35+ %???never in my entire academic life have i failed a subject that would be reflected in my progress report / report book. so i was so pissed with myself.n then i couldnt stand - anymore. n dere were a lot of other things in my mind..wells..howevr hyper i may look in school..it may not be the real me i m..i just cudnt take it anymore..nawal comforted me all de way..thx :) .. she is another damn toot person..she was damn amazed seein me cried cuz it was lyk de first time in three years tt she saw me cry..stupid person.oh n after tt sth reallie farnieh happened in the bus.shall update abt it some other time larr..buaiiz..

2005-02-02T08:43:00.000+08:00

BOO!!!!!!harlow darlingyz...in one of my spastic moods a g a i n ! heh! wells..heard meenz dedication on the perfect 10 last nite..it wen out to 2e7 '04 :) n 3e6 '05! n it was sth like "go study bio now!" hehe.. blergh..havin physics ca l8r.. haven studied..sheesh!..oh guess wad i juz realized..de only person hu reads my blog is vivienne....hahahahaha..so farnieh!..seriously..blah..i dun care..neh mind..i rock :) i rock :) i rock :)i rock :) i rock :) i rock :) i rock :)

haha..still cant believe tt anti-frienster vivienne got a friendster acc !!!!

bindiyaya! TELL ME! tell me how the hell she knows. just tell me i dun care. bleahs. erm and who do you mean when you say 'everyone'? dots..

2005-02-01T13:54:00.000+08:00

did i mention tt 2/7 rock?..lizzie is CHAIRMAN..n ziddy too!!! okie..a bit hard to believe..neh mind..oh n de worst thing is chay is sports crap again! dey sabo-ed her..but its like so..!!! i pity her asst man...sigh... i lurve tiz colour.. :)

2005-02-01T13:43:00.000+08:00

viv..did u notice u have been de only one taggin my blog..so pathetic..de whole way its a conversation bet us. shall delete my tagboard soon.. S O O N!!heehee.................... :) :) :) :):) :):) :):) :):) :):) :):) :):) :):) :):) :):) :) :) :) :) :):) :):) :)
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2005-02-01T13:12:00.000+08:00

harlo..darlingz..fellin suuuper duuuuper hyper 2dae..was so spastic.. had e math n geog ca 2dae.. geog was pure shitty!..n da stupid last e math qn..i kept gettin a loss lorh..7 freakin markz!!!..lyk wadda hell.. was supposed to have a math quiz too today..but mrs ang n mrs hoy came in n gave us a long lecture about not being responsive n all..as i said my class is d e a d ...juz so dead..well..i m one of de noisest ppl ard..so ya..dats how dead my class is..den she gave us de whole period to do chinese new year deco..sho sweet..well my class is e m p t y!..heehee...oh n went to c mdm lee durin recess..de sports leaders thing..we supposed to organise de sports day thing..blergh..dey r juz makin use of uz lorh..dey made us do x-country last year n said dey din access us properly..utter crap! anyways mi..chay..jacq..amanda..jocyln are all doin de compilations thing [wdv tt means] wif a few others..so it may not be tt bad yar.. :) wells..juz had combined ss wif 3e2..mrs lopez is so borin lorh..its a wonder i din fall asleep..perhaps its bcuz she made me sit rite in front..wdv..

to my darlin viv. gee! u r more - that i tink u r?... *raises eyebrow. heh.i dont tink u wud wanna noe how she knew lar. so anyway how - r u?..so ya basically every1 noes aboutit oredi but u r still not considered a -. m i makin sense?.. nevermind shall stop crappin.

oh yeah bindi. how the hell does mumtash know about me?? *raises eyebrow. where did she hear that from.. i definitely didn't 'openly announce'.. but yeah i'm not making a secret out of it either? and.. ermm i dunno larrs. i dun think i'm as - as you. haha. as in. i think i'm more - than you think i am? i dunnoooo! neverminds. shall shut up larrs :x

2005-01-31T09:38:00.000+08:00

hey ya..long time no blog..well..juz had my health check-up..i have PERFECT EYESIGHT.. n PERFECT POSTURE.. n de nurse was lyk keep it up!..oh n btw it doesnt mean tt ppl hu have perfect eyesight muz lurve carrots..n eat dem everyday..both de nurses asked me tt..n as a matter of fact..i dont!!i hate carrots!!heehee.. had recre trng on fri..it was so fun..it was lyk de extras of sec 2..3.. n 4.. mixed together n a cnior diyanah hu ish 20?..trng us..de sec 2s are bleddy stuck ups man..anyway had a nice long talk wif mumtash again..i told her about it n guess wad she told me?...to start talkin abt guys in every sentence! siao!.. den saw miss seng n she told me she read my blog..okie..den she said she knew all de bad stuff i wrote bout her..*sheesh*.. but she said it was nth much tho compared to wad vivienne wrote..she said she read her blog too..n feels like strangling viv wenever she sees her...*oops!*.. after recre trng..saw surayya @ de bus stop..she was cryin n bangin her head against the bus stand seat..*shrugs*..i din go ask her cuz i figured she wudnt wanna tell anyway..plus all her fwenz n fatimah were oredi consoling n hugging her so ya...n btw mumtash asked me if she was a lesb..n i said no..n she din believe! well..she said tt *that person* openly announced herselk as one.but as far as i know..i tink its juz de rumours..i noe her too well..she may be a lil unstr8..juz abt unstr8 as me.. but not a lesb..n i tink a hundred over letters is enuf to prove tt..kiez..i gtg..buaiz!!

2005-01-27T13:37:00.000+08:00

sigh..feelin so sleeeepy..*yawnz*..sigh....ahh..a math sux.e math sux.maths juz sux!!!sighhhh.....juz hope tt arthi din mean wad i tot she meant...i dun even wanna think tt she meant it..*prays*..

2005-01-24T15:32:00.000+08:00

nice song...by fantasia... maybe there is a secret meanin behind it...perhaps sum1 lyk vivzz will noe?

[Hook]And all the feelings I thought were gone
Came rushing back to me at once
Tried to smile and hide the way I felt
But I was thinking to myself

[Chorus]
(Truth is I never got over you(Truth is)
Wish I was standing in her shoes(Truth is)
And when it's all said and done
Guess I'm still I love with you(Truth is)
I never should have let you go(Truth is)
And it's killing me cuz now I know(Truth is)
And when it's all said and done
Guess I'm still I love with you

I just gotta be honest, I guess, I-I guess, I'm still in love, in love, in love

2005-01-24T13:13:00.000+08:00

OBS was so fun!!! ya..think if i update everything bout it..itz gonna take very very long so in short...OBS roX!!!!! .. magellaN rox!!!!.. mAgNeSiUm rox!!.. unCle KaNg rox!!!! hehe... tHe soFtBaLlErs rock 2!!! i thInk i GaVe theM thE mOsT hUgs...heh.shant elabor8 on tt to... -laughs crappily-.. kiez laR better staRt doIn da eNg cA thing..sigh!..i lurve MAGELLAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i miss you PPL loads.. juz so Sad we AinT in The sAmE clASS.. nEvEr MinD.. kEEp iN tOuCh kiEs.......

2005-01-10T14:17:00.000+08:00

If someone comes into your life and becomes a part of you but for some reasons he couldn't stay, don't cry too much... Just be glad that your paths crossed and; somehow he made you happy even for a while.

2005-01-10T13:20:00.000+08:00

helo..haiz..m misssin 2/7 more n more each day.not tt 3e4 ish not nice n stuff..dey r kinda cool..juz too guai..sheesh!..m sittin @ de other end of de 2seveners..[cali n all]..well..i m sittin wif strangers(no more) all ard me..heh.dey are nice.oh..dere r 2 retainees in my class...[1 of dem is my snr.!*shrieks!*]..juz realised she iz pretty nice..oh..shes sittin beside me..n she has de same theory of tk netball as i do..*grins widely*..heh. well...oh n deres tiz reallie cute gurl..keyi..she aint act cute like some ppl lar..shez reallie cute n nice..oh btw have yu all heard the theory from mrs liew i tink abt why some chemical equations dont have de ion charge written at the top..well..it goes like tis.once upon a time.there was a gurl.once upon a time.there was a boy. they got attracted to each other.so they fell in love.and dey went around as a couple.but soon dey seperated.they went different ways.but their sex dint change.the gurl remained as a gurl.and the guy as a guy. heh.moral of de story..[i dont understand!]..what de hell s the connection to chemical equations anyway???!!! *shrugs*...*ponders*.........N I STILL DUNNNO!! wdv..well wen for nb yest..saw de tk ones dere too..well..after so long in the history of tk netball...dey won back the third place in the daisy tan carnival!yeah!looks like the new coach is really good huh?...oh..was browsin thru vivs blog..found this..amusin!..

[sung slightly to the tune of -dirtypop-]
itz juzgotta beour calipop!
calipop
CA LI POP
mighty mighty
CALIPOP!
C-A-L-I-P-O-P
P-R-E-F-E-C-T
C-A-L-I-P-O-P
juz gotta be our calipop!
calipop
pop pop!oo lala~

heh.heh.heh.heh.
heh.heh.
heh.

oh did i mention...i miss viv sooooooooooo much...i wunder y...n i tink i m de only crazy person goin ard huggin every two sevener i see..!gee...... :]

2005-01-10T13:09:00.000+08:00

i won't talk i won't breathe//i won't move till you finally see//that you belong with to me//u might think i don't look//but deep inside in the corner of my mind//'m attached to you//i'm weak; it's true//cuz i'm afraid to know the answer//do you want me too?//cuz my heart keeps falling faster//i've waited all my life to cross this line//to the only thing that's true//so i will not hide//it's time to try anything to be with you//all my life i've waited//this is true//you don't know what you do//everytime you walk into the room//i'm afraid to move//i'm weak; it's true//i'm just scared to know the ending//do you see me too?//do you even know u met me?//i've waited all my life to cross this line//to the only thing that's true//so i will not hide//it's time to try anything to be with you//all my life i've waited//this is true//i know when i go i'll be on my way to you//the way that's true//i've waited all my life to cross this line//to the only thing that's true//so i will not hide//it's time to try anything to be with you//all my life i've waitedthis is true .............
:)

2005-01-06T08:51:00.000+08:00

hey!ok..i am sorry about my last post.din mean to be so vulgar k.just damn pissed.i just dont see the reason y i should like her.i mean what..because i find some1 capable or pretty or some shit doesnt mean i have to like her in a unstr8 way rite?or dont tell me its bcuz shes was de sC n i m de A.s.C..heh..dats dumb.anyway ya..viv smsed me about my previous post n i think i sent her lyk a 3-pg sms 2 times n a 2-pg one once.geee!anyways..thx viv..ur smses made me feel better after all..mmm.driftin away from tt shit...well...took our height n weight yest durin pe.guess wad???i have put on freakin SIX kilos..in TWO months..i feel like some giant hu has put on 500 loh..i mean lyk wadda..haish...ahhhh! i feel so!!! fat..frm 42 to 48!tsktsk...muz go for diet lyk startin NOW!i m dyin.....oh..n i shrunk by 0.5!..yu cant shrink....rite?..i am aBnOrMaL...help!

2005-01-05T09:01:00.000+08:00

hey.this means you.get this freakin straight.i do not like chay teng.i never did and never will.cuz i am freakin str8!!!i am not a fuckin lesb!i dunno wad d fishin story ish.but seriously if the nex person comes up to me and hints to me or tells me about it.i will fuckin strangle them!.i m serious.i am bein super direct here cuz.i dont like chay teng.or anybody else for that matter.i am str8!!!get that into your head.or i will.
fuck you ppl!

2005-01-04T13:13:00.000+08:00

harlo...well school has started!..haish..miss everybody in 2/7..but nevaminds..my class is kinda nice too!well yarr..i got nize teacherz so its okie..im so not used to wakin up in de mornin!!!!aiyaiyai..well..ok..so be i dont lyk school tt much...FOR DE FREAKIN FIRST TIME GUESS WAD ISH MY FREAKIN REGISTER NUMBER!!!!!????????? its FREAKING ONE..{1}!!! can u believe it..*go ahead! laff all u wan to!* ARGH !!!! wads worse?..i was sittin in de back row..yadiyadi..de bez place in de world!..@ d corner..beside me iz farhanah..infront of me iz cali n miao..infront of dem ish charmaine..n audrey...heaven rite?..well!!!guess wad tt mrs hoy person..wadeva..she had to juz .."erm.gurls..at the back row..can the two of u plz move infront?..dere are empty seats here!"..gee!!!i swear i was about to strangle her!!!argh...wadz moooore...its rite infront! infront of d freakin teacherz table!!!! so...wadz so nice bout skul anyway???

anyway...mdm raudhah sms-ed me laz nite..her exact msg..: "Bindhya dear i need to see you! can you please see me in school tomorrow during recess?" i was freaked out...lyk totally..i called cali n she freaked me out too..i seriously tot i did sth rong..! guess wad...i went to see her and she gave me a teddy bear!!! erm.....

2004-12-30T00:00:00.000+08:00

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gee..so lame!

2004-12-25T20:34:00.000+08:00

hey ya..its xmas...gee!!!...anyway came back from kl on tues wif shameen..yarr..it was a tues.. it was fun..was sleepin almost all the way..n talked quite a bit oso..she was tellin me bout the ~~porn gang!~~ rojak gang..yadiyadi..well we left kl @ 11.30..reached here @ 6+!!! so loooong lorh.. oh and i pissed shameen off by sayin gee so many times...not my fault lar!..it has becom part of my dict now!..influence by bena...haha..best part was i tot i very smart lar..smuggle chewing gum..bubble gum all lar..den kena catch by custom!!!!!! haiyar!..den dey took so long.. "interrogated" me n stuff..gee!!!..but still managed to smuggle 3 i tink..haha.. so malu! dey look @ my passport n was lyk only 14?..do u noe d consequenses of bringin it?...haha.. well..so sad lar..anyway reallie enjoyed myself in kl..bot two anklets..damn nice!..mmm... been lazin ard since i came back..not doin much @ all..but oh yarr!!!i felt so lurved after i came back!.. haha..@ least i noe i was bein missed...got so many msgs and fone calls...gee!!..only viv din miss me...*sobsob*..k lar..betta get goin..buaiz..merry xmas n happy new year!!!

2004-12-25T10:04:00.000+08:00

merry xmas!!!lurve ya all..

2004-12-19T22:18:00.000+08:00

hey ya..haha..i dunno y but every1 been sayin i look lyk one of the gurls tt cum in some hindi serial..shes some model tho..[!!!]..first it was lyk ppl in singapore..my seniors in tk told me tt..den in port dickson..in d camp..n now even in kl! gee...i looked her up in d net..dun tink i look lyk her @ all..but nv minds...d best thing ish tt i will be seein my so called twin sis in a few minutes time..dey changed d actress in d singapore serial..so yarr byez!!!anyway..y ish dere always no one interestin on line wen i m online!!!

goin back wif shameen on tues!!!

2004-12-19T13:24:00.000+08:00

gee...so long nv update oredi..been 19 daez?..haha..well..m in kl ritre now..juz read chay tengz blog n realised tt we both went to kl on the same day!!haha..but i came here by car!..so farnieh..i owaiz cum here by d bus stuff from golden mile..n den tiz time my uncle was cumin too..so he drove here..haha..its nice to be sorta "alone" here in kl wifout parents..siblings wdv..haha.. my couz are here..so fun..anyway i saw shameen day before yest i think..yarr..cuz my couz's couz is her bros good fren..so dey came to kl and dey stayed dere i think..mm..wen on sum camp thing on d 10th to d 12th in port dickson..so fun..haha..dey tried to seperate d gurls n d guyz..which dey were kinda successful in..haha..but after one day everyone was mixin wif one another..some guyz were damn good lookin lorh..good looking guy no 1: one of d facilators!!!-he is so cute!..hes a chindian! tink hes mums a chinese and his dads a indian..gee..so bad hes too ole for me..hes 25 i tink?.. u noe..3 daez of seeing his face..gee...kiez..anyway...good looking guy no 2: tiz guy called shon.. he looks angmo-ish..hes so hot lorh!!!..hes 16 i think..and all d gurls were juz gazin @ him.. good loooking guy no 3:tiz guy..hes kinda handsome n all..but d moment he opened his mouth he spoilt his image!!!haha..hes name ish..nicky!!!..so gay!!!gee...

k...did a lot of shoppin in kl..so happy..poor shameen was so bored wen she came wif uz shoppin..my couz couz is so nice lar..so matured..hez only one year oldere den me tho..he migrated from sg lyk last last year or sth..

ok i gtg my couz ish screamin @ me to get off d comp..buaiz!

2004-12-18T20:15:00.000+08:00

no better song to describe how i feel..

hamster=history!!!

Tear drops in my eyes // Came every day with the sunrise// It's been that way as long as you've been gone// I thought the day would start// Same as the others falling apart// I thought I barely would be hanging on//

Something has changed, feel so strange// Swimming through an ocean of pain// Then suddenly here's the sun//

Maybe I had enough of you,// Maybe I've tired of dreaming of you// Maybe I've gotten over your goodbye by now// Baby I couldn't live without you// Now when I think about you// My eyes are dry somehow

Maybe I'm all cried out// All cried outI don't know what it is// Why I'm not longer missing your kiss// It feels mysterious and so damn good// Something is changed, feel so strange// Swimming through an ocean of pain// Then suddenly here's the sun//

Maybe I had enough of you,// Maybe I've tired of dreaming of you// Maybe I've gotten over your goodbye by now//Baby I couldn't live without you// Now when I think about you// My eyes are dry somehow

Maybe I'm all cried out//All cried out//My heart has finally walked away// It's gone from the scene of the crime// It's finally found the perfect place // For leaving you far behind// Baby maybe I// Maybe I had enough of you,// Maybe I've tired of dreaming of you//

Maybe I've gotten over your goodbye by now// Baby I couldn't live without you// Now when I think about you// My eyes are dry somehow// Maybe I'm all cried out// Maybe I had enough of you,//Maybe I've tired of dreaming of you// Maybe I've gotten over your goodbye by now// Baby I couldn't live without you//

Now when I think about you// My eyes are dry somehow// Maybe I'm all cried out// Maybe I had enough of you,// Maybe I've tired of dreaming of you// Maybe I've gotten over your goodbye by now// Baby I couldn't live without you// Now when I think about you// My eyes are dry somehow//Maybe I'm all cried out

2004-11-30T16:42:00.000+08:00

My BDAEZ IN A MTHS TIME~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2004-11-28T16:07:00.000+08:00

went out with sunil n sonia today..watched d incredibles @ marina square..its okie i guess..a bit stupid tho..dunno y everyone lykz it so much..? only d last part is farnieh...but gotta admit i had lotsa fun wif dem..plannin to watch taxi or briget jones pretty sooon...oh..n xmas with d cranks too..seems pretty interesting..yup..anyway had dinner in macperson..i realized i've been watchin lotsa moviez tiz holz...bless the child...bride n prejudice..scary movie 3..polar express..the incredibles....
anyway sg idol finals is on wed..i really want sly to win but i think its a bit obvious that taufiq will win but it reallie doesnt quite matter cuz even tho ruben won american idol...clay aiken is much more successful ya...

2004-11-27T21:53:00.000+08:00

i went out wif my couz n her best friend..so fun!...dey are lyk 18 but still...!went to suntec..den orchard..everytime i go out wif dem..we act lyk a lesbian trio..n dey happen to be damn hot..so wen a guy usually ogles at dem..d guy ends up gettin disgusted by d lesbian stuff we do..haha..we went to plaza sing..watched the polar exprss..its a superduper nice movie..reallie..its lyk as if ur on a stimulator ride or sth..a gd movie wif morals..d cinema was packed n we were sittin in d 2nd row but still..it was a nice movie!hmm..i giv this one 9 and a half stars!..well..i lurve d christmas spirit...i lurve christmas..cuz u totally dun have to be a christian to celebrate it..n honestly...its super cool!!!...i tink its d only happenin festival tt can reallie bring everyone together..haha..my couz n i tinkin of celebratin christmas tiz year lyk christians...christmas tree..go to church n sthff...tinkin of gettin a more happenin xmas blogskin..-shrugz-

i lurve christmas!!!

2004-11-27T10:46:00.000+08:00

haha..ytd went to parkway at nite..bot some stuff..den on our way back home..rented the scary movie3 vcd..n we watched it tt nite..it was a midnite show.haha..its damn stupid i tell u..laff until my backside drop off can..dey made fun of all d horror movies..anyway it was supposed to be NC16..haha..nice movie..i giv it 9 stars!~

2004-11-18T20:36:00.000+08:00

went to orchard with mumtash today..was fun..just hanged ard..went to all the shoppin centres n blahblahblah.. i bought two badges n stuff..we went to plaza sing..ate at pastamania..yummy!had so much fun juz talkin to her... den we went wanderin...went to hereen..wanted to take neos at cineleisure but she changed her mind when she got dere..haha..i realize sth..we both are sort of d youngest in our couz..n i agree..its frustratin wen all of dem go out l8 into d nite..clubbin n stuff..n we gotta stay @ home....n another common thing:..we both hate plastic accessories.. how can one wear dem? it looks so ugly!..went to wisma..n den we got so bored walkin ard..we juz sat in mcdonalds and railed on..haha..were laffin @ how stoopid thoz mcdonald ppl look wif d incredibles mask thing...haha... oh n one more thing..after reachin home i realized i had only one dangling earrin on..which means i dropped my other one sumwhere in orchard n was walkin thru orchard lookin lyk a gangster..sigh...i wan my earring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2004-11-15T21:21:00.000+08:00

went out wif my couz...went to orchard..dere were lyk six to seven of uz...we caught bride n prejudice..its ableddy stoopid movie..but okie if u juz wanna sit down n laff ur head off..we met my couz's ex dere..she was supposed to go out wif him before she met uz but she told him she cudnt make it so for revenge he brought a bleddy gurl wif him.. jerk.. well its obvious tt dey still haf feelings for each other n i tink dey broke up laast xmas or sth..haha.....n ooh...i was attemptin to run wif high heelz..[i noe..~dumbass~]..n splat..i fell rite in d mioddle of orchard..so maluatin..dere were some chinese ppl laffin @ me..[idiotz]..n my couz juz blew!..she maluated dem..she was lyk.."laugh for what?so farnieh ah?..ur vagina tear den farnieh!"..blahblahblah..i dinnoe wadda sae..well..actually..i feel kinda baad..i had promised mumtash i'd watch bride n prejudice with her..i betrayed her..i m guilty!.....

2004-11-14T19:01:00.000+08:00

my couz tried cheerin me up...i feel lyk tellin her to give up..she forced me to go for pedicure..manicure wif her.. my other couz came along too...so young yet so vain..d pedicure is pink tho..so bimbo..ewww..but my nails look quite nice tho..

2004-11-14T15:55:00.000+08:00

sth happened.i aint gonna sae wad..but i juz feel lyk cryin..why does this always happen to me?..wdv.. stayin in my couz place 4 d time being..n tiz bleddy thing is bleddy happenin for the bleddy fuckin third time.. once upon a time i had cali to confide in..den i had syaf..now?..wdv..i m super pissed @ my parents..fuck off...kiez...

2004-11-14T09:49:00.000+08:00

my uncle called me last nite..more lyk mornin..it was 3+..said sunil ran away frm home?...cud hear my aunt cryin n stuff..i was lyk totally awake by the time he said tt..i smsed him..n he was lyk leave me alone please...said he was too stressed n stuff!.. his parents were fightin..n plus his A levels were on and all...i told him tt all we couz were in d same boat..honestly i think d day our parents dont fight wud be wen dey were dead or sth..but anyway managed to coax him to go back home n stuff..which he did later on..haiz..i hate life man..

2004-11-13T19:36:00.000+08:00

went to d temple in the mornin..dere was filmin goin on inside..d actress was so ugly..khushbu or sth!..shes super FaT!!haha..how cum i nv heard of her before...d only damn excited ones were my mum n aunt!den i caught a cab baq to mt place wif my couz..my couz 'teased' d taxi driver so much...she was playin wif him..n it was damn farnieh..d taxi driver too naive..den all my relatives came to my place n all..collected ang powz..haha....hmm..d day juz passed lyk tt..kinda booorin!...

2004-11-13T15:07:00.000+08:00

well ytd ..went for some gatherin @ shettalz place..shes half gujju..half punju...n all her punjabi couz came..gotta admit tt dey rawk..happenin ppl..dey "burned" a tree in potong pasir..i mean dey were so cool about it..while me and my couz juz stood dere gapin..dey took d sparkles..firework thingies..n threw at the trees..haha..dey made rockets wif dem n shot dem up in d sky...happenin aint it?..i was surprised d police din cum or anythg..came home at 12+..